


Cuando Llega Dia (When Morning Comes)

by iamgorillaztrash



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: Addiction, Angst, Daddy Issues, Don't worry this will all make sense soon, Drug Use, Drugs, Drugs play kind of a bigger role later on, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Past Drug Use, Smut, emotional cheating, so much angst to come
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-12
Updated: 2017-08-13
Packaged: 2018-10-30 20:02:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 32,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10883934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamgorillaztrash/pseuds/iamgorillaztrash
Summary: When life has passed you by, it's easy to take what you want to keep from slipping under. Even if it means hurting everyone around you, all for a fleeting moment of joy.It is love that is the root of all evil.*** STORY IS STILL UNDER CONSTRUCTION ***





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> When the passing looks to die for  
> Take it in your heart now, lover

2D didn’t usually care for parties, but he decided he’d make an exception tonight. It’s not every day the band released a new album, and he wanted to try and enjoy the festivities.

After a near seven-year hiatus, he’d been worried that the world had lost interest in Gorillaz. 2D had kept these doubts to himself, lest he suffer Murdoc’s wrath. The short-tempered bassist would have torn mountains apart for this band, and wouldn’t tolerate any suggestion that their comeback would be met with anything less than astounded praise and admiration.

The man might have been an overwhelming asshole, but damned if he wasn’t right: people by and far had fallen in love with the album, and the media had been running over each other for a chance to interview the band members and chronicle their return. Noodle and Russel had largely taken a backseat in this regard, happy to let Murdoc do what he did best: take all the credit and bask in the glory.

Of course, as the lead singer, 2D was more or less obligated to appear publicly alongside the bassist, much as he would have loved to join his less _intense_ band members as they stood back. Even after two decades in the music industry, 2D was still as awkward as ever in public appearances, never helped by how often he and Murdoc clashed when interviewed. In the old days, the two had been wont to talk over and argue with each other during these appearances; 2D could recall one incident when blows had been exchanged once the unpleasant subject of Paula Cracker had come up.  

However, for maybe the first time in his entire career, 2D could relax in front of the cameras, even enjoy himself. He didn’t always have a clever answer, and sometimes his answers made no sense, but people seemed to find him charming. It helped that he and Murdoc had seemingly grown past systematically trying to tear each other down during interviews, throwing petty insults and contradicting each other just trying to get on each other’s nerves. Instead, they bounced off each other, with light banter and the occasional barbed quip, but never barbed enough that the interviewer looked around desperately for help or an escape.

Perhaps the most incredible result of this new album was Murdoc mellowing out, and taking genuine enjoyment in life.

The bassist had always been eccentric and…extreme in his indulgences. Murdoc was no stranger to drugs and alcohol, and had a penchant for women much younger than himself. Such is the life of a rock star, Murdoc was loud, fierce, and destroyed everything he got his hands on. 2D always got the worst of this destructive nature, and had the scars and bruises to prove it. He was used to it by now, to the point where he almost didn’t notice when Murdoc had struck or thrown something at him (although it never ceased to hurt).

But just in the last year or so, as the album was being finalized and new projects were being discussed, something seemed to shift in Murdoc’s personality. His previous bouts of rage and abuse manifested in amusing ramblings and animated mannerisms. The green man could hardly sit still or keep quiet during the last few interviews, eager to express the pride and joy he took in the band and all their success.

Slowly, his relationship with Murdoc had tentatively begun to mend itself into something resembling real friendship.

It suddenly occurred to 2D that he hadn’t seen Murdoc since the party started. The bassist should have been back by now, he thought. 2D scanned the room, taking in Russel entertaining a small group of guests, which occasionally burst into fits of laughter. From elsewhere in the room, Noodle caught 2D’s eye and smiled, beckoning the singer with a raised cup. 2D smiled but waved her off, deciding to take a stroll through the throng of partygoers instead.

The turnout was pretty good this time around; great vibes, happy faces, the subtle smell of alcohol and marijuana filling the air. His own voice blared through the speakers, and he had to admit the music was some of his best work yet. Fans and colleagues alike called out to him, singing their praises and thanking him for a great party. And as fun as it all seemed, as open and welcome as the guests were, 2D came to a rather disappointing conclusion: he simply wasn’t very good at parties.

That didn’t stop him from accepting the red solo cup someone offered him and allowing himself to be accosted into a conversation. It wasn’t a resounding success in joining the festivities, but it was as good as he was likely to do. Downing his drink, he took in his companions: a tall man with a face full of piercings, a rather androgynous looking woman with a bright pink buzz cut, and a pretty but uninterested-looking girl who was glued to her smartphone, and barely glanced up at him.

“2D, I can’t tell you how much I loved the album!” exclaimed Piercings. “I bought it almost as soon as it went online, and it is absolutely inspired. And those guests! How on earth did you manage to swing Carly Simon?”

Shrugging, 2D replied, “You’d have to ask Murdoc about that one. One day I show up in the recording studio and there’s this tall, _much_ older American woman there to meet me. I didn’t expect that voice, I can tell you that much; very talented, she is.”

The conversation went on like that for a while, and for most of it, 2D just waited for it to be over. Not that they were exactly boring people, but 2D did grow weary of having to give standard PR answers about what a humbling experience it was to work with so many talented people, and how he owed so much to his fans, and how bloody much he and his bandmates all loved each other.

Eventually, Piercings and Buzz Cut slinked away, shaking 2D’s hand fiercely and thanking him for doing great such great things. What those things were, he couldn't imagine. 2D made to move away and get a refill, but his third companion, who hadn’t spoken much before, caught his arm. “Where do you think you’re going, handsome?” she asked, grinning.

“Um, I was thinking I’d just go get another drink,” 2D replied, feigning ignorance to her intentions. She was pretty enough, but 2D couldn't muster up any sort of interest. Especially when she'd barely spoken three words to him before now. 

Giggling, she hugged his arm, purposefully pressing it against her chest. “Aww, leaving so soon? I was hoping you and I could get to know each other a little better.” She batted her eyes alluringly. “You’re a really good singer, but I wonder how good you are at…other things.”

 _Not on your life,_ he thought. Suddenly he didn't want another beer; he just wanted to get away. 

There were certain moments where his reputation for being a bit thick-headed came in handy. “I’ll be honest, I’m not much good at anything that doesn’t have to do with the band.” He pulled away, needing escape. “Have a good time, love. Stay out of trouble.” He made his getaway, knowing the young woman would just assume 2D was a moron and oblivious, instead of getting her feelings hurt.

2D made his way outside, ignoring the calls to join in and have a laugh. He had so wanted to be a good host to the people who had come out in support of the band, but he just didn’t have it in him. Anyway, it didn’t much matter whether he participated; he guessed at least half the people here were only interested in the free booze.

 At last, he found himself on the spacious back porch, closing the sliding door behind him with a firm click. He still had some trouble navigating their new headquarters, even more so when it was full of people. He’d had a brief moment of panic where he thought he’d be circling the same room forever, which he felt warranted a cigarette.

Lighting up, he took a deep drag, exhaling the smoke into the night. It was still early, relatively speaking, but a chill had settled. He sighed, zipping up his jacket and wishing he’d just hightailed it to his room instead of coming outside for some air. This whole night had turned out to be a colossal waste of his time, and all he wanted was to sleep it off and let it end.

 _Just one cigarette, and then I’ll call it a night,_ 2D thought. If Murdoc were around, he might have forced the singer into mingling more with the guests, lest anyone important get a bad impression of the band. But since the Satanist himself was nowhere to be seen, 2D might actually get a good night’s sleep for once. He was glad the walls in this place were soundproof; even with a wild party going on around him, as long as he kept the door locked, he was hidden away from the world every time he shut his bedroom door.

The smell of smoke comforted the singer as he began to relax, leaning against the wall of the house. He had fleeting thoughts of trying to join the party again, but the mere idea was enough to exhaust him. He wasn’t as young as he used to be, but even more than that, life had become a chore lately. Working on the album had given him a goal, something to strive for and get excited about, but at the end of the day, he still felt empty. Empty and tired. Too empty and tried to pretend to have a good time.

Constantly 2D told himself, _it has to get better._ When he and the band got together, hung out and worked on music, it didn’t feel so bad. When he and Murdoc were being interviewed, when fans approached him in the streets desperate for autographs and photos, when he stayed up at night scribbling furiously on scraps of paper, trying to capture his ideas before they were gone, he even felt something close to happiness. But every time he got up in the morning, looked in the mirror, and saw what had become of him, he wondered where his life had gone, and whether he had wasted it.

There were plenty of people who would argue otherwise, saying that Gorillaz was an incredible band with an incredible record of success behind it. And it was true, 2D was proud of how well he, Murdoc, Russel and Noodle had done for themselves. It felt good to be appreciated, even by total strangers who always ended up a fraction too close or confused your music with that of that awful Albarn fellow. But they had no idea what it was to give up the best years of your life for something you’d only meant to do as a hobby. Once a hobby becomes a full-time job, you lose some of that old passion, and no matter how good you get, you end up running for years trying to get better and beat everyone else. It was only once you’d gotten to the end that you discovered there was never a finish line, and that you had been running for nothing your whole life.

Maybe another cigarette wouldn’t hurt.

“Hey, shouldn’t you be inside?”

2D jumped, not having realized he wasn’t alone out here. He turned, wondering what was wrong with wanting to smoke in peace. 

“It sounds like a great party. I can’t imagine you’d want to miss it,” the starnger continued.

Great. More small talk.

“It is. But Ifrankly, I don’t much like parties,” 2D replied. He could tell the speaker was a woman, but she’d chosen to stand on the other side of the patio door, where the light wouldn’t hit her; it was no wonder 2D hadn’t noticed her when he’d come outside.

“I guessed as much. You looked like hell when you walked out.” Whoever she was made no move to reveal herself, but 2D could hear the smile in her voice. “And you lit up like a fiend.”

2D shook the ashes from his cigarette, scowling at the comment. “Shouldn’t _you_ be inside?” he asked. “You said yourself, sounds fun in there.” _And I’d much rather be alone, thanks very much,_ he thought.

There was a slight pause before she responded. “I didn’t really want to come here tonight. I’m not one for parties either. But Murdoc would have had a fit if I refused. Speaking of, you haven’t seen him around, have you?”

2D dropped his dead cigarette, grinding it under his foot. He was not in the mood to deal with any friend of the bassist’s. “Nah, the bloke’s run off, it seems. Can’t be bothered to come to his own bloody party.” He looked up to regard this woman as best he could in the dark, wondering what kind of friend this was. An antisocial crackpot, perhaps?

“Figures. Forces me to make the long trip here and then doesn’t even show up.” She snuck a look at her phone, frowning. “Hasn’t texted either.”

She had an accent 2D couldn’t quite place; he guessed she’d moved here from abroad. In any case, she sounded far too young to be at this party, let alone a friend of Murdoc Niccals. “He should be around soon, I think,” 2D said, trying to be helpful. "Had some meeting the rest of us weren't invited to."

“Yeah, well. I just wish he hadn’t insisted I come tonight. Feels like I’m wasting my time here. No offense; like I said, sounds like a great party.” She put her phone away and was once more obscured by the night. “You’re 2D, right? This is your place?”

2D nodded, retrieving a fresh cigarette from his pocket. “That’s right. Well, mine and the band’s, I guess.” He fumbled briefly with the lighter, the cold starting to register on his exposed skin. “Don’t know how much longer we’ll be staying here, though. Murdoc’s gone mad planning our tour and a bloody TV show on top of that. I expect I won’t get a good night's sleep for at least the next year.” He looked in the stranger’s general direction. “Remind me of your name?”

“Oh, yeah, forgot about that. You can call me Anna. “ Somewhere in the dark, she might have grimaced. “Short for Annabelle. I insist you don’t use my full name.”

2D felt a small smile form on his face. “I like it, though. Sounds very…” He thought for a moment. “Distinguished.”

She chuckled. “Thanks, but distinguished or not, I prefer Anna.” She seemed to shift closer towards him, but stayed hidden. 2D wondered why she refused to show herself. It was a little unnerving, talking to someone he couldn't see. He had fleeting thoughts that this Anna might be somewhat unpleasant to look at up close.

“I’ll try and keep that in mind, Annabelle.” Another cigarette butt fell between his fingers. “So, how do you know Murdoc?” Murdoc wasn't the best at making friends, let alone keeping them around. 

The young woman cleared her throat, seemingly embarrassed. “It’s, uh, a bit of a long story. I was living in the area at the time when we met, about a year or so ago. We keep in touch over emails and such, but I don't get to see him in person very often.” She pulled out her phone again, irritated. “Which is why I’m a little miffed that he's left me hanging.”

“I wouldn’t count on him for anything, I’ll tell you that.” 2D wondered why Murdoc had never mentioned Anna before, if it was true he’d asked her personally to come tonight. Normally he didn’t give a shit who showed up to these things, so long as the music was loud and at least one person got their stomach pumped.

“Yeah, well. He certainly knows how to keep someone on their toes.” She let out a small giggle. 

"That's one way of looking at it, I guess," 2D replied.

He was slightly amazed that this one hadn't already tore off in fear from Murdoc, if it was true they'd been in contact for months. The bastard couldn't interact with most women for more than ten minutes before trying to get into their pants. And once he'd done that, he practically shoved them out of his bed, brushing off their hurt feelings and telling them to get lost. Was he playing the long con? 

"So, how do  _you_ know Murdoc?" Anna asked. "He loves to talk about your guys' band, but he's told me nothing about you as people." 

"That's no surprise, frankly. I don't think he sees us as humans; we're just a singer, guitarist and a drummer to him." 2D closed his eyes, seeing the past twenty years in flashes of memory. He didn't feel like getting into it all right now. "I'm sure he'll tell you the full story eventually; he loves talking about how we all met, because it always comes back to Gorillaz and how he made us a huge success." Never mind that he'd made some very shady deals with the literal devil to make it all happen. "For now, all I'll say is he's a crazy stupid bastard who doesn't let nothing stop him from getting what he wants." 

Anna might have nodded, but again, 2D couldn't see her. “I tell you though, he’s a riot. The last time he and I met up, he told me all about this deserted island you were all stranded on before you moved back to England." She laughed lightly, her voice incredulous. "I don't read the tabloids, since they're mostly crap, so all I've had to go on for all my intel is him and his crazy stories. Is any of what he told me true?"

2D flinched as the taste of rotten whale blubber suddenly filled his mouth. Underneath the moonlit sky, with the chilly London air turning his skin icy, he could feel the harsh sun beaming down on him, magnifying the smell of garbage that flooded his nose.

"That depends on what he's told you," he replied evenly. 

"Oh, all sorts of things. How he burned down your band's first studio to collect insurance money, and then he found an island out in the middle of the ocean, and he spent all that money on building a new studio. And all this rubbish about pirates and demons and building a cyborg replica of your guitarist." Anna laughed out loud this time, not believing a word. 

The chills. The sweating. The headaches. Being stuck in his room whenever Murdoc didn't need or want to see him, always with that menacing whale just outside his porthole. Nothing to do but watch his old horror films, digging his nails into his flesh to fend off the screams welling up inside him. Horror; just absolute hell. Being eaten alive, and eating that which had eaten him to survive, only to realize that civilization had been just within arm's reach the whole time. 

2D cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck anxiously. “Um, yeah, it’s true. All of it. It was the worst time of my life, come to think of it.” He put another cigarette between his lips, desperate to cover up the awful memories. “Lemme tell you, it was torture on that beach. Smelled like a rotting corpse, too.” _Flick._ He lit his cigarette. “I guess I’m sort of proud of the fact that I managed to get through it, somehow. And the album came out pretty well, I thought. Just wish it hadn’t kicked the shit out of me like it did.”

"Wow," Anna breathed. Clearly, she hadn't expected any of Murdoc's tales to turn out to be real. "It's all true?"

"Hand on heart." 

"Jesus." She didn't sound quite so amused anymore.

Looking up at the stars, dangling his cigarette between his long fingers, 2D felt words just start to pour out of him. He didn’t know where they came from, hadn’t even realized he’d been thinking them. Maybe they'd been there all along, just waiting for someone to ask him about what he'd really been through. But no one ever had. 

“I’ll be honest with you. Every day I was on that island, stuck with Murdoc and them, I wished it would all just come to an end. Couple of times, I thought of drowning myself, just to make it all stop. I was too scared to do anything rash, but the thought crossed my mind a lot. I thought, ‘that’ll show that bastard.’ I wasn't lying when I said he wouldn't let anything stop him from getting what he wants. At first, I tried refusing to sing, hoping it would piss him off enough that he'd leave me the hell alone. All it did was piss him off enough that he almost killed me himself. Course, he couldn’t do that if he wanted the album done. Wasn't just me, either; everyone on that album, he either bribed or just up and kidnapped them. He wouldn't let 'em leave until the songs were done to his satisfaction. And when it comes to Murdoc, it takes a lot to please him.

"Me, I got the worst of it. He stuck me in the very bottom of the studio. That room was like a cell or a cage; even if I'd wanted to, I wasn't allowed to leave it unless Murdoc came and got me. Maybe if I hadn't been so weak, I could have fought back for a bit longer. But my headaches, they were so bad. All I wanted were my pills. But he refused to help me out, usually just beat me if I began to complain. And without my pills, I really felt like I was going to die, whether Murdoc liked it or not."

A bitter smile formed on 2D’s lips. “For a while, I couldn’t even listen to the album without wanting to throw up. That tour in particular was a special kind of awful.” He took a deep drag on his cigarette, shutting his eyes against the horrors that assaulted him. It had been years now, but nothing kept him up at night like remembering those awful months stuck on Plastic Beach. And nothing made him crave the drugged out, unfeeling, hazy days of his younger years like remembering Murdoc's forceful detox program of sticking 2D in his room with nothing but food and some cigarettes to keep him going.

Slowly, he opened his eyes again, remembering where he was and realizing how much he’d just revealed to a perfect stranger.

“Wow,” Anna said again, awestruck. And appropriately horrified, 2D noticed. “That sounds _awful_. Murdoc made it sound so much less…extreme. Like it was an adventure, not…well, not that. And he _never_ said a word about all that awful stuff he did.” She took steps toward him, but 2D was still too swamped in awful recollection to notice her.

The singer snorted, dragging on his cigarette as he slowly regained his composure. “Yeah, well. I doubt he’d want to mention all the hell he put us through. Not like it matters, most of the time. The fans all seem to think the whole thing is a hoot. Just another wacky Gorillaz story.” He couldn’t keep the resentment out of his voice. The entire world knew just what had happened on Plastic Beach, and they all thought it was just the coolest thing they’d ever heard.

2D could feel the bruises and welts all over his body, the awful rumbling of his stomach when he craved drugs more than food, and the whale that still haunted his nightmares to this day. He had to admit, though, that saying these things out loud, he felt light and free. It felt cathartic to put out there how degrading and soul-draining the whole experience had been. There were some things that were easier to say to someone who didn’t know you.

"That's terrible! If they know what happened to you, they should take it seriously!" 2D was slightly touched that she cared so much, but angry people made him nervous. 

"S'all in the past," he said, trying to calm her down. The next words out of his mouth surprised him. "I really hate to say this, but I think Murdoc's changed a lot since then."

There was a brief pause between them. "You think so?" Anna asked, her voice suddenly very small. 

2D shrugged, hesitant. Murdoc had been a terrible person for most of his life, but the change in him was undeniable. Maybe he was growing old and senile, which in his case could be a good thing. Or maybe, he'd taken a good long look at his life and realized how much of it he'd wasted by being a piece of shit. 

Finally, 2D replied, "He's definitely not the same person he was before."

Anna exhaled hugely, like she'd been holding her breath. "I hope not. It sounds like he was..." She trailed off, unable to find the right word.

"Yeah. I know. And he was. But maybe not anymore." 2D allowed himself a half smile. "At least the album came out pretty well."

“Still. I’m really, really sorry that happened to you, 2D.” Suddenly, her voice was right next to him. “If it’s any consolation, I’m glad you all made it back in one piece.” There was a smile in her voice. "And you sounded really good on that album."

“I appreciate that.” 2D turned his head to offer a smile, and to thank her for listening to him. He had warmed up considerably to this Anna; talking to one stranger was much easier than talking to a party full of them.

But when he finally looked at her properly, he froze.

She was breathtaking. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What we have always dreamt of having  
> And now for the starving

Almost immediately, 2D felt way too old to be talking to this girl. 

 _What the bloody fuck was Murdoc_ thinking _?_ he thought. At least he could see now why the bassist might have wanted to make sure this Anna showed up tonight, if he thought he had even half a shot. 2D himself had to stomp down on some incriminating thoughts as he took a long look at her. Still, he was surprised; Murdoc liked his women young and inexperienced (he truly was the biggest asshole to roam the earth), but 2D hadn’t pegged him for a cradle robber. He could only hope that she wasn’t as young as she looked or, at the very least, that she was of age.

She really was quite pretty. And that  _dress!_ It hugged Anna's form so tightly, and it was obscenely short, barely covering her thighs. 2D forbid his thoughts from going any further than that, warning himself not to get too excited. He was a grown man, for God's sake, he should be able to handle himself better when a young, attractive woman gave him the time of day. Hadn't he just given the slip to a good-looking woman who'd definitely been interested? 

But still. Something about this girl was...different. 

“Um…is that a no, then?” Anna asked, a strange expression on her face.

“I…uh…s-sorry, what was that again?”

“I asked if I could borrow your lighter.” Anna was holding her hand out to him, and 2D realized with a flush that he’d been staring. Hastily, he shoved his lighter into her hand, taking an imperceptible step back. The singer hoped Anna couldn't tell where his mind had just been. His flush grew deeper when he studied her face, reminding himself of how young she was. He tried distracting himself from the possibility of being no better than Murdoc by watching her dig through her purse, presumably for cigarettes.

2D forgot about feeling like a creep when Anna produced a huge joint, a small smirk on her face. “I figure I’d better try to lighten the mood a little,” she said, lighting it deftly.

She took a long drag, and immediately began to cough up a storm. 2D would have smiled at the inexperienced display, if he wasn’t so shell-shocked and actively fighting not to scare the girl off. He could feel his age mark him like a siren with bright flashing lights, warning people to stay away, this man could keel over any second now. 2D worried that Anna would suddenly look at him properly and notice what an old mess he was, and hightail it inside to get away from him.

A tense silence settled over them, neither of them knowing quite what to say anymore. Anna had crossed her arms defensively over her chest, and the blue-haired man wondered if she was hiding out in embarrassment. Her outfit left little to the imagination, as he purposefully did not let his eyes fall below her neck again.

“Did you want a hit?” Anna asked, unnerved by the quiet.

Startled by the question, 2D could only mumble a thank you, wishing desperately to cover up the awkwardness. He felt his old age encroach on him as he inhaled, like a heavy hand on his shoulder. And with Plastic Beach still fresh in his mind, he suddenly felt very small, and very tired. He remembered how just a short while ago he'd been ready to call it a night and hide out in his room. It was still sounding like a pretty great idea. 

“Listen, 2D. I’m really sorry if I upset you. I didn’t realize that the island was such a sore spot for you. I can’t imagine going through what you did, and surviving.” As Anna reached out for the joint, her fingers brushed lightly on his hand. 2D cleared his throat, nervous at the light contact. 

“S’okay. Thanks for letting me unload all that on you.” He looked away, willing the nerves away.

They sat in silence for a few moments longer, just listening to the sounds of the part within. Anna winced at the sound of glass being shattered, and 2D wondered briefly what had just been undoubtedly destroyed. 

“If you don’t mind my asking, how old are you Annabelle?” 2D suddenly blurted out. “I don’t mean to be rude, you just seem a bit…young to be here.”

Anna surprised him with a loud laugh. “I was really hoping you wouldn’t ask.” 2D cringed, bracing himself to confront the fact that he was a huge pervert.

“I get asked that a lot, actually. I know I’ve got kind of a babyface thing going on.” She smiled ruefully. “I turn twenty-two this year.”

_Oh, thank god._

She was still very young, but not young enough that 2D felt like a criminal talking to her. Still,  he kept his eyes glued to his feet, worrying that she was uncomfortable that he’d asked her age. Possibly she didn't know how much older 2D was than her, and so didn't realize how much her answer mattered to him. Still, if she was good enough friends with Murdoc that he'd invited her here personally, maybe the age difference didn't matter so much to her. 

He wasn't sure whether or not that was a good thing. 

She took another deep drag on the joint, this time without coughing on the exhale. Soon, the scent of weed and cigarette smoke had surrounded them like fog as they passed the joint back and forth between them. It was nice, just smoking together; the silence had stopped feeling stiff and uneasy. They were just two near-strangers, getting high together. No big deal. 

"You're easy to talk to," 2D remarked, taking the joint back from her. "Most people I meet, they just want to impress me somehow. Or they want to know my whole fucking life story without considering that I might not want to talk about it." He smiled at her. "'Course, you didn't even ask, and I end up telling you a whole bunch of personal shit. Sorry about that, by the way. I didn't mean to get into it so much."

Anna smiled, sinking to the floor and hugging her knees. "What can I say? I'm good at getting people to talk. Most people don't realize how easy it is."

"Is it? I've never been too good at talking to anyone about anything more interesting than films or the band. How do you get people to talk to you about shit that might actually matter?"

"Simple. Ask them about themselves, and actually give a shit about what they say." Anna shrugged, as if to say,  _that's all there is to it._

2D realized he wanted to know more about Anna.

“Tell me about yourself,” 2D said, without preamble. Now that he’d gotten past his unease, he wanted to know more about this girl than just her name and that Murdoc had been lucky enough to meet her first.

Anna tensed suddenly, and looked away from him. Her answer was flat and sounded almost rehearsed. “There’s not much to tell, really. I live alone. I mostly do freelance work. I haven’t lived in England for too long, maybe four years. Hence my disgusting non-accent.” 

“You moved here when you were only seventeen?” 2D asked, shocked. “My folks had a fit when I moved out to live with Murdoc, and I stayed in England, _and_ I was already twenty by that point.” He flinched when he realized he’d just dated himself considerably compared to Anna. He took another huge drag from the joint to cover up his faux pas.

Luckily, she hadn’t seemed to notice. In fact, her face had gone carefully blank, and 2D questioned if she’d heard what he'd said at all. Finally, all she said was, “My family wasn’t happy. But I didn’t listen. I came out here of my own accord, and I made a life for myself.”

When Anna met 2D’s eyes again, she had regained her smile, much to his relief. “I’ve moved out of London, and I’m living in Lancaster at the moment.  So, it was a bit of a journey to get here. Which is why ol’ Murdoc is gonna get an earful for dragging me all the way out here.”

“I’d pay to see that,” 2D said, holding the joint out to her again. After all he’d shared with Anna, he was disappointed at how little she’d revealed about herself. But then, she probably had her wits about her more than 2D did, and knew better than to pour out your inner turmoil to the first person who was halfway pleasant to you.

They had all night to get to know each other better. For now, the two settled into a comfortable quiet, which grew progressively less quiet the more the joint got passed back and forth. 

“This is some great shit you’ve got,” 2D commented at one point, trying to stop from breaking out in giggles.

Anna held her hand out to him, now smiling hugely. “It’s pretty great, yeah? None of that stems and seeds bullshit.”  When 2D didn’t hand the joint back right away, she plucked it playfully from his lips, causing them both to burst into a fit of laughter.

2D realized that he'd joined Anna on the ground, getting comfortable as the high settled in. With the joint between her fingers and her feet tucked underneath her, Anna looked mellow and relaxed, like life was just one huge delight. 2D felt much the same; he couldn’t even feel the cold London air anymore.

“Hey, I’ve a great idea!” Anna suddenly burst out, grabbing 2D’s arm in excitement. “Why don’t we dance? Yeah, let’s go inside and just fucking cut loose!” She stood up, trying to pull 2D up to his feet with her.

Instead of getting up, he reached out randomly for the pot, missing her hand by miles. Normally, he would have declined outright, citing two left feet and general fear of judgement, but in light of recent events, he forgot that he wasn’t much of a dancer. Still, he hesitated.

“I don’t know, Annabelle. I’m not sure what’s cool with the kids these days. Might end up looking like a wanker in front of everybody.” Again, 2D made a grab for the joint, but Anna held it just out of his reach from the floor.

“Oh, please. Nobody cares about anything but themselves. They won’t notice even if you do end up making a fool of yourself. Not that you will,” she added, taking another drag.

"I'm really not sure...."

Anna got back on her knees, her eyes level with 2D's. He noticed with a jolt how close she'd gotten, and how she was still holding his arm from when she'd tried to pull him up with her. The joint stuck out of one side of her mouth as she spoke to him, voice low and breathy. "Please, 2D? I really,  _really_ want to dance with you." She batted her eyes, giving 2D a winning smile. 

In spite of himself, 2D felt a toothy grin spread across his face. How could he say no? “Alright, fine, let’s give it a go. But I think I might need a bit of Dutch courage first,” he said, getting to his feet.

“I don’t think that phrase works in this case,” Anna giggled, obligingly handing over the joint.  2D placed it in his mouth as Anna pulled him back inside, and 2D felt ready to give the party another go.

From there, he was caught up in a haze of music, bright lights, and a sweet lazy high. The music had since switched from his band’s own music to some generic, vapid pop hits, which seemed just right with how silly and loose he felt.

She pulled him in to the center of a huge crowd of dancing, sweaty bodies, immediately beginning to hop around and move her hips to the rhythm. When 2D realized that most everyone was just flailing around somewhat to the beat, he began to do the same, his inhibitions going up in smoke. Anna laughed delightedly at his display, and 2D worried that she was laughing at him when he realized that she looked pretty ridiculous as well. If she wasn't worried about looking foolish, then maybe he shouldn't worry either.

They danced for a while longer, but kept bumping into other people and tripped over themselves. It was fun for a while, but eventually 2D just felt sweaty and tried from the fast pace that the music demanded. It came to an end when Anna was shoved against 2D by a particularly enthusiastic party guest, and he held her to keep her from crashing to the ground.

The young woman looked up at him, still smiling, but looking a bit worn out. "I think I've had enough dancing for now." 2D was relieved.

From there, he deiced to walk her through the party, introducing her to anyone who accosted him for a few minutes of his time. It seemed like the polite thing a host would do. Almost immediately, however, he felt Anna tense up next to him as the less inhibited guests, particularly the men, began to make lewd comments or look at her suggestively.

2D moved her away from one particularly intimidating man, tall and with enormous forearms. Anna had shrunk into herself, keeping her head down and hugging herself nervously. "Are you alright?" he asked, leaning in to make sure she heard him over the music.

She nodded, but the slight sheen in her eyes said otherwise. "I'm fine. It's just...why do guys think it's okay to say shit like that? It makes me feel dirty, like I did something wrong."

Without quite meaning to, 2D pulled Anna closer against him, his arm placed firmly around her shoulder. "You haven't done anything wrong. They're just a bunch of knobs whose mum's have a lot to answer for." He gave her a reassuring smile. "But if it makes you feel better, I'll fight your corner for you."

The young woman did her best to smile at him, nuzzling into his embrace for comfort. "You're sweet, 2D."

He willed himself not to blush at the sentiment, but could feel himself failing. 

They walked like that for a while, 2D's arm locked around Anna protectively. Combined with his best glare and suggestions for these assholes to go fuck themselves, it worked wonders. The creeps and perverts melted away, and the gross comments eventually ground to a halt. Anna whispered her thanks to him, and 2D smiled, hoping it wasn't obvious how much he'd enjoyed his role as protector. 

They continued to move through the party, 2D lifting his hand in greeting at anyone who called his name, never taking his arm away from Anna. She didn’t seem to mind, resting her head comfortably on him, talking a mile a minute about how huge the place was. The singer smiled, not really responding, just enjoying the sound of her elated voice through the now pleasant din of the party.

Parties were easier when you didn’t have to go through them alone. 2D was sure that was true for the both of them.

Eventually, 2D found himself in the huge living room, where the music was quieter and the guests themselves were more restrained. More conversation, less shenanigans and arguments bordering on fistfights. 2D led Anna to one miraculously unoccupied couch, finally taking his arm back from around her shoulder.

“Every time I think I’ve seen it all, another room pops up! How many are there, anyway?” she asked, eyes roaming the huge room with awe. The joint had long since run out by this point, to be replaced with two cups of alcohol.

2D shrugged as he took a swig. “Search me. I probably knew at some point, but we don’t typically use all the rooms at once.” He chuckled. “Cleaning service is gonna have a shitshow on their hands tomorrow, is all I’ll say. It’s vast.”

“Like a mansion. It must be nice, being rich and successful,” she sighed, a wistful smile on her face.

“It can be,” 2D agreed. “It can also be total hell and a pain in the ass, ‘specially when it means having to work with Murdoc all day.”

Anna looked at him, a distressed look in her eyes. “Is Murdoc still really horrid to you, then?” She looked worried, and 2D felt his blush return under her gaze. He looked away so she wouldn’t notice.

“Well, he’s always been a bit of a bastard to me,” he replied, downplaying two decades of abuse and borderline hatred between them. “Since we met practically. He’s good at what he does, and that includes making everyone around him feel small and useless. Mostly me.” 2D smiled ruefully. 

The girl stared at him, hugging her knees to her chest. He could see in her face that she was thinking over everything 2D had told her about Plastic Beach and what a horrible person Murdoc had been. “2D, I need you to be honest. Is Murdoc...?” She hesitated, like she hated to ask. "Is Murdoc a bad person? Just, in general?"

2D sighed, wishing he hadn’t mentioned Murdoc again. Now he’d have to think of a way to not make the man not look like such a monumental prick. “Muds is…a complicated person. He and I have never really got along as well as maybe we should have. I dunno, maybe it’s as much my fault as his. He works hard; he’d give up his whole life for this band. He’s wicked talented, for sure. He and I have just never really been very good to each other.”

Never mind the car accidents. Never mind Paula. Never mind the years of verbal and physical abuse. Never mind Plastic Beach. Never mind that 2D could not remember a time where Murdoc had been anything more than tolerant of 2D’s presence. Never mind that 2D had spent years looking up to Murdoc as a role model, realizing years too late that his idol was nothing more than a mean old drunk who’d sold his soul for a bloody bass, and wasn’t even good at playing it.

As much as 2D would have liked to, he just wasn’t one to throw people under the bus. Not even Murdoc.

After a terse silence, 2D went on, conceding. “Like I said, he’s changed a lot in the last year. He’s not the same Murdoc anymore. He acts less like a raging lunatic, and we haven’t fought in ages.”

Anna only nodded, expression still taut but her eyes no longer plunged in fear. “I see.”

2D grinned at her, hoping to lighten the mood and reassure her that Murdoc wasn’t going to strand her on a remote island or run her over with his car. “I figure if you’re still friends with him after a year, he doesn’t treat you the way he’s treated me my whole life.” Suddenly, a horrible thought crossed his mind. “He’s never treated you badly, has he?” 2D asked urgently. "It's okay, you can tell me. I swear, if he's laid a hand on you-"

“No, no, not at all!” Anna replied, shaking her head vigorously.

"I promise, if he has, I'll help you. We all will." The thought that Murdoc might have hurt this woman infuriated 2D, and if Anna thought she had to protect him in any way, he had to nip it in the bud before their friendship went on any longer.

Anna patted his hand, trying to calm him. She seemed touched by his concern, but desperate to reassure him everything was fine. “I swear, 2D, Murdoc has never done anything of the sort. He’s been a complete gentleman the whole time I’ve known him." Her face was reddening, and she sank back onto her seat, flustered. "He’s been kind, and caring, and attentive, and we’ve had a lot of fun together. He's very...good to me.” A new expression began to dawn on her face, one 2D couldn’t recognize. But all the same, he was wary.

“That doesn’t sound like our Murdoc, " 2D said, only half joking. He smiled slightly at his next thought. "But who knows, maybe you’ve managed to change him somehow."

Suddenly, Anna practically threw herself into 2D’s lap, an urgent and flushed expression on her face. “Do you really mean that?” she asked excitedly, her voice several octaves higher.

Again, her face was only inches from his, and she leaned into him in such a way that one false move and his lips would brush against hers. 2D’s eyes widened at her proximity, feeling his own face begin to heat up. Where had  _that_ reaction come from? His eyes flicked down to her lips, wondering how she would react if he just-

Before he could finish his thought, the music suddenly turned up louder and changed altogether. Instead of the latest hits from whatever pop princess was hot right now, the song that began to play the one they’d done with Ben Clementine.

“Oh, I love this one,” Anna swooned, her face turning up as though to see for herself that the music had indeed changed. She threw herself back from 2D with exaggerated relish, and the brief moment between them was gone.

Without warning, 2D felt himself hauled onto his feet for the second time that night, looking down at Anna as she positioned herself before him. “I think this is my favorite song from the new album,” she said, smiling beatifically at him as she began to sway to the music.

2D had never slow danced before; on the rare occasions he did choose to embarrass himself, like tonight, there was more movement involved to compensate for his lack of actual moves. All this dance required was a few feet of space and shifting together to the music. Anna had flung her hands over his shoulders, and had not protested when 2D hesitantly placed his hands around her waist in response. He hoped she couldn’t hear how rapidly his heart beat as he stared at a point past her ear, unable to meet her gaze.

He didn’t realize quite how slow and somehow _romantic_ the song sounded out of context. Not if you paid any mind to the lyrics, of course; but now, with more to distract him than the song’s message, he felt the music add to the overwhelming sensation of touch and scent and heat of having Anna stand so close to him, her body brushing deliciously against his. 2D felt a fire start in the pit of his stomach as they fell into a steady rhythm, followed by confusion and, inexplicably, joy.

The two happened to lock eyes again, Anna gracing him with a warm smile. “Thanks for hanging out with me, 2D,” she said, her voice barely carrying over across the loud music. “I’m having a lot of fun.”

The singer returned her smile, pulling her closer against him. Marijuana, alcohol and the dancing had emboldened him, and he grinned wider when Anna giggled in response, laying her head against his chest. She was sure to hear how hard his heart was working now, but 2D didn't care. He kept his hands firmly on her waist, not daring to let them dip any lower, and closed his eyes briefly to bask in the atmosphere, warmth flowing through him like morphine.

She was so warm, and in his large hands, she felt so small. 2D felt an overwhelming sense of protectiveness as they continued their gentle swaying together. Anna was nothing like the women Murdoc normally found himself around, most of whom would never give 2D or the others the time of day. He had barely met this girl, and already he wanted to know her so much better. Was it the loneliness getting to him, the realization that he had almost no one outside Gorillaz to call on? 

Or was it something more?

2D looked down at the woman in his arms, who had closed her eyes and looked like she could fall asleep against him. There was a hint of a smile on Anna's lips, and 2D wondered if he was the culprit, or if she was just as caught up in the moment as he was.

Leaning down, hardly aware of what he was doing, 2D whispered, “Do you want to come up to my room with me?”

Anna looked up at him, her expression relaxed and peaceful. “What was that, 2D?”

He could hardly believe he'd even asked. But now that he had, there was no turning back. 

But before he could repeat himself, his face on fire, the front door slammed open, and following in its wake was a voice that sent knives up 2D’s spine.

“Hell- _o_ everyone! Now the party can _really_ start!”

Anna's head shot up at the  rude entrance, and she gasped like she'd just been given a wonderful surprise. “Murdy!”

Suddenly, 2D found himself sans partner as Anna tore herself out of his arms and barreled past him to the front door, towards none other than Gorillaz bass player, Murdoc Niccals. The blue-haired singer turned from where he stood to see the room raise their cups in greeting to the green Satanist, calling out his name and waving to him.

But Murdoc seemed to notice none of it. Instead, he exclaimed in delight, holding out his arms to the person who ran for him, laughing as he stumbled backward from the force of her embrace. Holding her off the ground, he spun around with her in arms, smiling like he'd just been told Gorillaz had won a Grammy and Damon Albarn had died a terrible, embarrassing death. From where he stood, 2D could not hear what they were saying to each other, but he had an excellent view for what happened next.

Still grinning from ear to ear, Murdoc enthralled his captive audience by dipping Anna low and leaning down to catch her lips in a long, drawn-out kiss.

 _Well,_ thought 2D. _That fucking figures._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One hundred hits later, and that's enough to convince me to put up chapter 2. I'd like to personally say thank you to the people who left kudos, and the commenter that encouraged me that continuing to write wasn't a huge waste of time. I will do my best to update semi-frequently.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With the holograms beside me  
> I'll dance alone tonight

2D stared, mouth slightly agape, as Murdoc and Anna finally broke apart for air.

“Hey, Dent Face!” Murdoc called out, catching the singer’s eye. He had his arm draped around Anna, who was smiling wider than she had all night, her face flushed as she flung both her arms around Murdoc’s waist. “Get over here, I got someone you should meet!”

Mortified, and still trying to process what he was seeing, 2D made his way over to where the older man stood. Everything seemed to have slowed to a snail’s pace, the music nothing but white noise and the guests nothing but faceless silhouettes. All he could see was Murdoc's stupid fucking grin on his face as Anna jabbered on to him, impulsively pulling him in for another kiss.

By the time 2D was close enough that he could hear them, Anna was explaining that they had already met.

“Murdy, you never told me how sweet 2D is. He’s been keeping me company all night! We’ve had _such_ a riot.”

2D winced, expecting Murdoc to smack him and make a comment about staying the fuck away from his woman, but when he glanced at 2D, he was still smiling. And for once, it seemed genuine.

Somehow, this was more terrifying than evil eye, which he had come to expect from Murdoc.

“That’s nice, love. Sorry I’m so late; meeting ran way over schedule. I’m gonna kill those bastards next time I see ‘em.” Turning to 2D, he added, in a voice the singer had never heard Murdoc use before, “Thanks for looking after her, 2D. I owe ya one.”

2D had to put a stop to this, immediately. He couldn’t take all the sudden pleasantries from the man who’d abused him 24/7 for the past twenty years.  “So, are you two going out or something?” he blurted out.

Murdoc turned to Anna with a gentle expression, and 2D managed not to scowl. “Well, I _guess_ you could say that. Been seeing this one for a few months now.” Anna laughed as Murdoc dove down to plant a quick kiss on her neck. “Been seeing a _lot_ of her.”

“Oh my god Murdy, _stop_!” she exclaimed, swatting him on the arm. She turned to 2D, blushing and beautiful. “Is he always this much of a shmuck?”  

There was a brief pause while 2D debated asking if she had a few hours. “Take it from me, he’s much worse.”

Murdoc laughed raucously, and the noise was enough to make 2D take a step back in fear. But the blow to the head he’d anticipated never came.

“Yeah, that seems about right.” The bassist grinned at Anna, before linking his arm with hers. “Well, s’been delightful, 2D, but I’ve arrived; you can stop wasting this poor girl’s time now.”

“Murdoc!” Anna admonished, giggling. “You’re such an asshole. It’s been fun, 2D!” she added as the bassist pulled her away. “I’ll catch you later, yeah?” And suddenly, she was gone, being led away by the man 2D hated with all his heart.

2D wondered for a moment how colossally things had fallen apart for him. Then, disgusted, he told himself to get over it. He had barely just met this girl tonight, and all they’d done was hang out and get high together. Sure, she was cute, and definitely fun to be around, but she was just one girl. Nothing to sulk over. 

He wasn't even going to call attention to the fact that he'd more or less asked her to sleep with him.

For a while, the blue-haired man watched them from afar, following but never approaching. He watched Murdoc pull Anna into a dark corner, where the two proceeded to talk for a good while. 2D allowed himself to be pulled into another group of people he didn’t care about, letting their compliments and praise wash over him, unnoticed.

The bassist caressed the girl’s face with one hand, the other supporting his weight as he leaned against the wall. Anna was blushing, a blissful smile on her face as Murdoc twirled a lock of her hair round his finger. She looked delighted beyond belief to be there with him, more chipper than she’d looked all night, when she was on the fringe of a party with nothing but a tall, black-eyed stranger to make her feel welcome.

Still. It was nothing to get worked up over. 2D didn’t know why he gave a damn if Murdoc had found himself a new girl. He didn’t even know her enough to merit being heartbroken over it. Why had he even bothered trying to invite her up to his room? How stupid; he must have just been caught up in the moment.

But something kept him rooted to his spot, guests lobbing questions about the album and his personal life, as he continued to stare over at the unlikely couple. Murdoc looked happier than 2D had seen him for the better part of about six years, and there was something so unsettling about that. He just couldn't put his finger on why. Shouldn't it be a good thing for Murdoc to be in good spirits?

“So, what do you say, big guy?”

2D turned, looking away as Murdoc and Anna burst into raucous laughter. “Hm? Sorry, what was that?”

The girl who’d asked the question was tall, curvy and very nice to look at. “I _said,_ how’d you like to show me up to your room? I’d love to see it.” She grinned, and 2D signed inwardly. _Not this shit again._ He prepared for the second time that night to let some nameless woman know he wasn't interested. She was very attractive, but nothing special; not worth the bother.

He chose that moment to steal one more look over at Murdoc and Anna. Just in time to see the two locking lips once again, their tongues shoved down each other's throats. Murdoc had pressed the girl up against the wall, pinning both of Anna's hands above her head. The man had absolutely no shame.

2D turned to look back at whoever this woman was, still smiling invitingly, her fingers ghosting lightly against his hand. Fuck it; this party had devolved back into a huge waste of time anyway.

“Sure. Let’s go.”

2D took the woman by the arm, causing her to laugh in surprise at the easy conquest. He ordered himself not to look back at Anna, and not to care if she saw him take some random floozy to his room for the night. It was a time to celebrate, after all, and he’d be damned if he was going to end the night alone. Even if it was with someone he didn’t give a shit about.

He tried to school Anna out of his heart, telling himself it didn’t matter. Clearly, she and Murdoc already had plans.

~

2D woke up the next day in his room, alone. Whoever the woman from last night was, she’d been gracious and left before he’d woken up. Much more courteous than the women who liked to wait until he was up and plan their entire future together.

It had been a nice romp, the little of it 2D could remember. She’d been very sexy, and very eager to please, but it was nothing particularly memorable. He hadn’t even bothered to get her name, and she hadn’t offered it. He was relieved she hadn’t stuck around, insisting that the singer owed her something.

Still. It might have been nice to wake up next to someone after last night.

He got up, feeling his ever-present headache demand attention. After an entire lifetime of serious blows to the head, he was amazed and annoyed that a headache was still the first thing to greet him every morning. 2D had had doctors assure him that the pain would get better, maybe even go away entirely, if he went under extensive treatment, but every time, Murdoc had laughed in the singer’s face and told him to get on. “Don’t be a selfish little sod, 2D; this band can’t afford to lose its voice for you to “get better,” or whatever bullshit those doctors are telling you.”

All 2D had now were the new pills he’d been prescribed. Something about outpatient treatment and non-habit forming. They didn’t feel anywhere near as good going down as the painkillers (which he guessed was the point), but they took the edge off enough that he wasn’t doubled over in pain all the time.

2D made his way downstairs, taking in the disaster that had gone on after he and his one night stand had retreated to his room. Empty cans and food containers, partially destroyed furniture, and several lurid attempts at graffiti littering several walls. The cleaning service was already out in full force, cleaning up the damage as 2D made his way through it, stepping over unconscious guests, kicking a few lightly in their sides to make sure they were still alive.

Finally, somehow, he’d made it to the kitchen.

“Hey, look who’s up!”

Russel was sitting at the breakfast bar, phone in his hand as he knocked back a cup of something warm. He paid no mind to the woman who’d chosen to pass out on the counter, head covered by a lampshade as she snored lightly. She didn’t seem to mind being a huge after-party cliché.  

2D walked past the drummer, deciding he’d make some toast. “G’morning, Russ. Get any sleep last night?”

“I wish, man. I don’t think the music stopped before sunrise. It’s like these people don’t have jobs or lives to go back to.” Russel nudged the woman who lay in front of him, but only got a particularly loud snore in response. “What about you, D? I hardly saw you last night.”

The singer shook his head, yawning as his toast heated up. “I turned in early. I can’t stand these parties Murdoc insists on having. ‘Specially when these people decide to hang around for the next week.

“Yeah, well. Wasn’t too bad, I guess. Got some phone numbers out of the deal. Though I also had a bunch of wannabes trying to get me to listen to their crappy mixtapes. One guy literally just covered all of Jay-Z’s big hits and tried to tell me it was all him.” Russel shook his head mournfully. “It’s like no one knows good music these days.”

Suddenly, the woman on the breakfast counter yawned hugely, sitting up and stretching her arms out over her head. “Hey, what time is it? Where am I?” She pulled off the lampshade, squinting against the sunlight streaming into the kitchen.

“Noodle? What the hell are you doing sleeping in the kitchen?” Russel exclaimed just as the toaster spit out 2D’s breakfast.

The young woman yawned once more, rubbing her eyes blearily. “I have no idea. Last thing I remember is coming to get some food, next second I’m waking up wearing a lampshade on my head.” Noodle regarded 2D and Russel, still half asleep. “What are you guys doing here?”

Russel shook his head, chuckling as 2D settled in next to him. “It’s 2 in the afternoon. Meaning it’s time for breakfast.”

“Is it really gone afternoon already?” the singer asked through a mouthful of toast.

“Yeah, really. And don’t talk with your mouth full, 2D; you’re a grown ass man.”

2D closed his mouth obligingly, swallowing his mouthful of toast. "Sorry."

"It's cool man. Anyway, I'm sure I saw you go upstairs with a lady last night." Russel grinned approvingly at the singer. "Couldn't see her too well, but I could tell she was a fox."

The singer had already forgotten about the woman he'd taken to bed last night. "Oh, right. Yes, she was quite fit." He took another bite of his food, completely uninterested. 

"Please spare us the details," Noodle said, tossing her lampshade to one side. "I'd really rather not hear all about your sexual habits before I eat. Or ever, actually"

2D shook his head. "Don't worry. I'm not in the business of talking about the shit I get up to anyway." Just then, someone appeared in the doorway of the kitchen, stepping gingerly over the unconscious guests littering the floor and the assorted bits of trash strewn about on the floor. She seemed to be looking around for an exit when she met 2D's eye.

Annabelle.

Her makeup from last night had smeared, particularly around her lips, and she walked with a slight limp. 2D tried not to read too much into it as she stumbled up to him, heels in one hand and purse in the other. "Hey, 2D. I wasn't sure I'd get to see you again before I left."

2D looked away from her, trying hard not to feel any sense of wounded pride over how she'd abandoned him for Murdoc last night. "It's quite late, you know. Two in the afternoon."

"I know, I know. I've actually been up for a while, waiting for Murdoc to wake up, but he's still out like a light." Anna’s eyes flicked nervously to the other two band members in the room, but she spoke only to him. “Listen, I had lot of fun hanging out last night. I don’t want to wake Murdoc just to tell him I’m leaving, so can you tell him I’m headed back home when he's up?”

2D nodded, keeping his eyes away from the love bites and bruising now decorating her neck, trying to ignore her implication that she'd spent the night with him. He turned to see Russel and Noodle staring at her with open suspicion, probably wondering why she thought Murdoc would care whether she hung around or not.

“You guys, this is Annabelle. She’s Murdoc’s girl-…she’s Murdoc’s friend. We met last night. Hung out for a bit.” 2D couldn’t help but smile as he recalled her laughter, how much fun she’d seemed to have with him. His smile faded as he recalled how much of his personal trouble he'd unloaded on her while they sat smoking outside. In the daylight, the whole thing seemed foolish. She was, after all, still more or less a perfect stranger to him. 

Anna smiled self-consciously, folding her arms across her chest protectively. Noodle nodded in greeting, her eyes meeting 2D’s questioningly. Russel, meanwhile, stood up to shake her hand, the embodiment of good manners. “Nice to meet you, Annabelle. Hope you had fun last night,” he said.

She shook Russel’s hand, her expression relaxing somewhat. “Oh, it was great. Really good time. And please, call me Anna. You must be Russel. And Noodle,” she added, looking over at the guitarist, still lounging casually on the breakfast counter.

The young woman smiled, which didn’t quite reach her eyes. “That’s right. Well, drive safe, Anna. Glad you had fun,” Noodle said, already looking away. Anna flinched, noting the dismissive greeting, and let go of Russel’s hand. 2D stood to bid her farewell properly. He was surprised when she launched herself at him, nearly knocking the singer onto his back. She embraced him tightly, and 2D simply stood in her embrace for a moment before shakily hugging her back, noting how warm she was and how nice she smelled, despite the night she’d definitely spent in Murdoc’s bed.

“Thanks for hanging out with me last night, 2D. I had a wonderful time.” She finally pulled away, handing 2D a small scrap of paper as she stood up. “Call me, okay? Let’s do it again sometime.”

2D nodded vigorously, unwittingly taking her hand in his. “Yes, it was fun. It was really good to meet you, Annabelle. I’ll…I’ll miss you.” He turned bright red as the words left his mouth; he hadn’t meant to say that last bit out loud.

Rather than laughing in his face or awkwardly turning away, Anna graced him with a smile, melting his heart before he reminded himself that he’d resolved not to care about this girl. “I’ll miss you too. Later, 2D.”

With a final wave to the band, she made her unsteady way out of the kitchen, eventually slamming the front door behind her as she left the building.

Finally, Noodle broke the silence. “Poor girl’s in for a huge shock if she thinks she’s getting a call back from that jackass.  “Who was that, Murdoc’s latest ‘piece’?” She couldn’t hide the scorn in her voice.

2D looked down at the hastily scribbled number on the little paper scrap, telling himself not to get too excited over it. “Well…sort of. Murdoc told me that he’s been seeing her for a few months now, and Annabelle told me that they’ve known each other a year or so.” The blue haired man tucked the phone number away, allowing himself a small smile as he did so.

“Wait. You’re telling me that ol’ Mudsy’s gone and got himself a girlfriend?” Russel stared at 2D incredulously, like he couldn’t believe his ears. “Now I’ve heard everything. Next you’re gonna be telling me he’s decided to accept Jesus Christ as his lord and savior.”

2D flinched at the word _girlfriend._ “Don’t look at me, just telling you what they said. I don’t know if they’re really serious or anything.” He didn’t want to say the wrong thing in case it got back to Murdoc. No doubt he’d give 2D a swift shoe to the face if he thought 2D going around telling people he was dating someone. Murdoc Niccals did not date; not ever. Nor did he keep a lady around for longer than a couple of weeks at the most. He took a lot of pride in his callous treatment of women.

Noodle snorted, hopping off the counter to rummage in the fridge. “I highly doubt they’ve been seeing each other for that long; you must have misheard, 2D.” Opening the refrigerator, she added, voice tinged with pity, “I give it a week before she wises up.”

“Now, Noods, no need to assume the worst. Maybe Muds finally realized that he’s an old lonely bastard and he’s wasted his whole life being an asshole to women. He might be thinking it’s time for a change.” Russel got up as well, presumably to get more coffee. “If he’s hung around her this long already, I’d say she’s the best shot he’s got at settling down. Still, can’t say I’m cool with him choosing a little girl to settle down with.”

“She’s twenty-one,” 2D said, watching the drummer as he reached for the coffee pot. He ignored a little stab of loss at Russel's last remark about settling down. 

“That is a huge leap to make, Russel,” Noodle said, in response to the drummer’s musings. “He’s an old lonely bastard, sure, but people like him don’t change. He just uses people and tosses them aside once he’s done. Murdoc doesn’t give a shit about anyone but himself. The day he settles down is the day hell freezes over.” She slammed the fridge closed, a plate of leftovers in one hand. “I say, the sooner she decides to get out before he ends up breaking her heart, the better.”

Russel sighed, fresh coffee in hand. “Well I say, maybe a relationship will be good for him. Sure, he may not settle down, but you gotta admit, it’s worked for him so far. God knows he’s mellowed out a _lot_ in the past year. I’m starting to think it might not be a huge coincidence.”

“Oh, please. He’s just happy about the album. I _really_ doubt that one girl is going to do a complete 180 on him, especially one so young. She has no idea how much of a lunatic he is if she’s still hanging around him.”

2D left the room then, a piece of toast hanging from his mouth, as Russel and Noodle started to really get into their discussion. He knew they didn’t care as much as they seemed to about what Murdoc was getting up to (except when it came to his treatment of women, which they both agreed was heinous); they just enjoyed the debate, no matter what the topic. 2D was the only one who really cared about the woman in question, and her relationship to Murdoc. Even as he told himself that he really didn’t.

“Hey, Face Ache! What the hell are you doing up so early?!”

2D looked up to see Murdoc standing at the top of the stairs, sans shirt or pants, his usual attire. Instantly, repulsion ban to flow through the younger man at Murdoc’s lack of decency.

“It’s two in the afternoon, sunshine. It’s hardly early.”

Before, the remark would have earned 2D a shove against the wall, with an expletive demand to shut up. Instead, Murdoc rolled his eyes, shakily descending the stairs. “Figures. Guess that means they’ve stopped serving breakfast at the golden arches for the day.” He regarded 2D inquisitively. “Say, you haven’t seen my girl today, have you? Woke up and she wasn’t there; couldn’t find her anywhere upstairs, neither.”

 _“I give it a week before she wises up,”_ Noodle had said with conviction. 2D tried to remember that as Murdoc waited for an answer.

“Oh, uh, you just missed her, actually. Said she was headed home and didn’t want to wake you.” 2D felt her phone number start to burn a whole in his pocket, hoping the excitement it caused him didn’t register on his face.

Murdoc let out a disappointed groan. “Oh, that silly bird. I can’t believe she didn’t stick around.” He rubbed the back of his neck, frowning. “Ah, well. I’m sure she wouldn’t have left if she didn’t have to. Wish she'd said something, though. Thanks, 2D.” He retreated back up the stairs, muttering that she might have left him a message on his phone.

2D watched him go, quiet warning bells going off in his head. The fact that Murdoc had asked at all was alarming; when he took anyone to bed, he was always happy to kick them out, laughing cruelly as they threw hurt insults and shoes at him. And now, he’d seemed so disappointed that Anna had left without saying goodbye, when normally he’d have been delighted to wake up to an empty space next to him. No one to chivy out of the room and out of his life permanently the next day.

_“I’d say she’s the best shot he’s got at settling down.”_

Hating himself, the blue-haired singer hoped that Russel was wrong, and that this wouldn’t last. How could it, anyway? Noodle was right, that was a _huge_ leap for Russel to make when he’d barely spoken two words to the girl. How long could this whole thing, really last? Anna admitted herself, they almost never saw each other in person. More than likely, the fact that they hardly met in person was to Murdoc's benefit; he probably just thought of Anna as a good fuck that he almost never had to interact with in person. The bastard. Still, he had acknowledged last night that he'd been seeing her for a few months...

2D took out the scrap Anna had given him, rolling it up in his fingers, telling himself not to get his hopes up. Best not to get too attached to her. Even if this thing with Murdoc didn’t last, that didn’t mean he had a shot with her.

Especially not with Murdoc seeking her out the morning after, rather than the other way around.

 _Not that I care,_ he reminded himself.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Circle of, circle of, circle of  
> My circle of friends

 

For the next couple of weeks, Anna barely crossed his mind. At least, not as much as 2D would admit to himself. Murdoc, in turn, had not mentioned her at all since the night of the party. 

2D had texted her back so she had her number, and they had kept up a steady correspondence. Annabelle would text him, asking how his day had been, and he would answer in kind. They would talk about movies, television, the news. Nothing huge, really, just small talk. Or she’d ask what the band was up to, and 2D would give her the inside scoop. No more heart-wrenching secrets or personal inquiries were exchanged. For the most part, the conversations were completely innocuous.

But for some reason, she'd just stopped texting him one day. Right in the middle of a conversation, no less. It wasn't an important one; 2D had been filling her in on tour preparations, how hard Murdoc had been working everyone. He'd asked her if she was planning on going to their Margate show before they headed off to America. When days went by with no answer, he just assumed life had gotten in the way, and tried not to take it personally. After a while, 2D didn't give the girl another thought. 

His life, meanwhile, had gone largely back to normal: rehearsals, promotional videos, photoshoots, and the odd magazine interview. Their world tour was fast approaching, and 2D expected the month leading up to it to go by in a flash. He was glad to be busy; it made him feel useful. When the band wasn’t working, they were largely left to their own devices, unless they had nothing better to do than hang out with each other.

Usually, that meant 2D, Russel and Noodle playing board games or watching movies together. Over the years, they’d formed a friendship that went beyond just being bandmates, and though they never said it out loud, they were as close to family as any of them had at this point in their lives. Murdoc, who hated anything even vaguely sentimental or pleasant, would scoff and make rude comments at their little gettogethers, making a big show of leaving and not coming back until the next day. At some point, they’d stopped asking him to join in.

Lately, however, he’d started to come around, and began to work himself into their activities. There was no pomp and circumstance, and no one demanded an explanation; eventually, it just turned into the four of them being in each other’s company, doing things together that weren’t band-related, talking and occasionally sharing personal stories with each other. Theirs was a truly dysfunctional one, but they were, in fact, a family of sorts. What else did they have at this point? 

Tonight was one of those nights where there was nothing better to do. Although none of them would ever admit it, they were always secretly pleased when they had an excuse to hang out together properly like this, with no band work to do. Tonight, it was 2D’s turn to choose the movie, and he had promised Russel to make a concerted effort not to choose another horror movie. The drummer had gone to make the popcorn, while Noodle had popped out to get drinks. Murdoc was skulking around somewhere, and probably wouldn’t appear until everything was ready.

“Hey, D. You choose the movie yet?” Russel appeared in the living room doorway, a huge bowl of popcorn in his hands.

“Not yet. It’s hard, you know, just choosing one. There are so many! Why do we even have all these films?” 2D held up one DVD, still unopened in its plastic wrapping. He’d narrowed down his selection to about seven, but was unable to choose from the pool.

Russel surveyed the room, looking at all the movies that the singer had rejected. “You didn’t have to take _all_ the movies out of the box, man.” He set the bowl on the coffee table and began to pick up the discarded DVD cases, piling them up in his hands.

“Oh, yeah. Guess that’s true.” In his quest to find the perfect movie for the night’s viewing, he had made a bit of a mess of the room.

Picking up the last of the DVDs that 2D had tossed carelessly on the floor, Russel shook his head. “Look, if it’ll make it easier on you, we can watch a scary movie. It’s my turn to pick next time, anyway.”

“Excellent!” 2D held up his well-loved copy of Dawn of the Dead, gathering up the other movies in his other hand. He added them to the pile Russel had dumped back into the box on the floor, glad to have that earth-shattering decision out of the way.

“I still don’t get why you love zombie flicks so much. You get freaked out every time the mailman asks you to sign for a package,” Russel remarked, kicking the box to one side.

2D popped the DVD case open, carefully taking the disc out. “I don’t know what he’s asking me to sign for. It could be a bomb, or a severed body part.”

“You know the worst we ever get is creepy fan letters or Murdoc's weird sex toys.”

Just then, Murdoc himself came sprinting down the stairs, almost tripping in his haste. His jacket was half off, and he was trying to pull his shoes on as he descended. He didn’t seem to notice the two staring at him as he sat and yanked his shoes on at the bottom of the steps. “Oh, hey,” he said breathlessly, finally looking up. His apprehensive expression was quickly replaced with his signature brow-furrowed frown. “What the hell are you two doing?”

“We’re about to start the film,” 2D said, jerking his head towards the plasma screen. “Noodle’s just run off for drinks. Should be back soon.”

Murdoc stared at the singer uncomprehendingly. “Oh, shit, the movie. Can’t make that tonight, I’m afraid. Just start without me.” He pulled on his jacket properly, making sure he had his phone with him. “Won’t be long though. See ya.”

“Where are you going?” Russel called after him.

“I said I won’t be long!” came the reply. A moment later, and they heard the front door slam shut.

The two stood in a curious silence for a moment. “That was odd,” 2D finally said, making his way to the television. “Guess he had something better to do. Probably for the best; he hates this movie, and I’m pretty sure he would have just made rude comments the whole time.” When Russel didn’t reply, 2D looked over at him. He stood rooted to his spot. “Russ?”

“That was really out of left field,” the drummer replied, suspicious. “And is it just me, or did he seem really freaked out?”

2D shrugged, although he had noticed that Murdoc had seemed rather hassled. “D’you think we should have gone with him or something?”

“I’m back!” Just then, Noodle came bouncing into the living room, a case of beer in each hand. “Either of you know why Murdoc ran off like that? He almost ran me over getting out of the driveway.” She set the drinks down next to the popcorn, seemingly unconcerned at the near hit and run.

Russel reached for a beer, a pensive look on his face. “Not a clue. But he seemed like he was in a hurry.”

“He seemed kind of upset,” 2D chimed in, nearly dropping the can Russel tossed to him.

Noodle jumped onto her favorite loveseat, motioning to be handed a drink. “Upset how?”

“I wouldn’t say upset. More like…nervous,” Russel said, handing the woman her beverage. “I don’t think he was headed off to do anything fun, at any rate.”

Popping open her can, Noodle shrugged. “I’m sure he’s fine. Muds likes to get himself into some shady shit.”

That was true enough. The three left it at that, sure that Murdoc was just out being a knobhead as usual. The settled in to watch the movie. 2D, who had seen Dawn of the Dead more times that he could count, still sat in thrall like it was his first time watching. Noodle, who’d rolled her eyes at his selection, almost immediately became engrossed in her phone instead. Russel tried to share 2D’s enthusiasm for the flick, but couldn’t get over the holes in the plot and the shitty zombie makeup.

“If this movie is supposed to scare me, why the hell would they make the zombies look like that? They don’t look like monsters, they look like really shitty aliens.”

2D replied, his mouth full of popcorn, “It’s a product of its era, Russel. And they’re not monsters, they’re zombies.”

“Man, last time I'm telling you; chew with your mouth closed," Russel retorted, grabbing the bowl from 2D. "Also, zombies  _are_ monsters."

“No, they’re just undead people; totally different. They don’t magically become monsters when they reanimate, they’re just rotting and their brains don’t work.”

“If it looks like that and fucking eats people’s brains, that’s a monster in my book.” Russel looked back at the screen, a half smile on his lips. “At least, they would look like monsters if the makeup wasn’t so bad.”

“Google says they’re monsters,” Noodle chimed in, not looking up from her tiny screen. 

“Rubbish; zombies were people at one point. And they still are, they’re just undead and scary. It’s an important distinction to make!” 2D exclaimed as the two began to protest. “Murdoc is green and scary looking, and he’s not a monster! For the most part.”

“Yeah, but he also wasn’t brought back from the dead, and he doesn’t eat people,” Noodle said, grinning as 2D worked himself up.

“As far as we know,” Russel added, happy to have a laugh at the bassist’s expense.

2D opened his mouth to reply, but decided to let it go and enjoy the rest of the movie. He’d set the record straight later. If there was one thing he was ready to talk about for hours, it was horror films.

The next two hours flew by. In the back of his mind, 2D wondered where Murdoc had run off to. It wasn’t uncommon for him to leave at night with no explanation, but usually he looked well put together, and smug in a way that suggested he was in for a night of debauchery. Tonight, he’d seemed on a mission, an urgent one at that. Maybe even one that scared him. 2D couldn’t imagine what that mission was.

“See, now why would she want to leave the mall?” Noodle asked, having finally joined in to watch the movie somewhere along the way. “I get that she’s pregnant, but wouldn’t that be more of a reason for her to stay there?”

“I’m sure there’s a message about having to face the future head-on in there somewhere,” Russel remarked sarcastically. “If you ask me, it’s just to move the plot along, and they couldn’t think of anything better.”

At that moment, the front door swung open, causing all three band members to jump. Murdoc had returned. And he wasn’t alone, unless his murmurs were him talking to himself. His words came in clearer as he and whoever was with him drew closer to the living room.

“…don’t have to worry about that. You can stay as long as you like. No, no, I won’t hear of it,” he added, talking over the person he was with. A woman, it sounded like. “Not another word about that.” His voice was gentle, like he was trying to be comforting.

He finally stepped into the living room’s doorway, a duffle bag slung over his shoulders. “Oh, you’re all still here,” he said with no preamble. “I’d have thought you’d have finished up the movie by now, but this is good.” He set the duffle bag down on the ground, surveying the band. “Now, I won’t mince words and I won’t waste your time. We’re having someone to stay with us indefinitely, no questions asked. Meaning mind your own business and don’t ask her why she’s here.”

Noodle, annoyed, ignored that last part of his statement. “What the hell, Murdoc? You can’t just spring something like that on us. Why is she-”

“I _said_ to mind your own fucking business,” Murdoc snapped, glaring at her. “It’s not like we haven’t got room; this place is bloody massive. If it bothers you that much, take it up with me when I give a shit. Now then,” he went on, regaining his composure and ignoring Noodle's scowl. “I expect you all to not be knob heads and act like you’ve got some class. She is my guest, and will be treated as such. Come on, love,” he said, turning away from the group. “Don’t be shy.”

A moment later, a short, heart-stoppingly beautiful woman joined Murdoc by his side, eyes glued to the floor like she was mortified to even be standing there.

“I don’t remember whose met you and who hasn’t, so: everyone, this is Anna.”

2D stared, openmouthed, as the young woman turned bright red in embarrassment. She was unnaturally pale, lips trembling as she stared miserably at her feet. She seemed to mumble something to Murdoc, who rolled his eyes and did not reply. They fell into an unnatural silence, during which Anna kept glancing towards the exit. 

“We’ve met,” Russel said finally. 

When Annabelle met 2D’s eye, she quickly looked away, her expression taut. Murdoc’s announcement finally sunk in. “She’s staying here?” he asked, confused.

“Yes, you stupid prat. I just said that.” Murdoc gave him the old evil eye, a warning not to ask any more questions. “Now, I don’t expect you lot to try and make friends, because you’re all woefully uninteresting; just don’t be a bunch of arseholes to her. Come on, Dent Face, help the lady with her luggage.” Hoisting the duffle bag back up, Murdoc gestured for Anna to follow him.

The singer shot up automatically, rushing to take Anna’s bag from her. “No, it’s okay, 2D. I’ve got it,” she said, her voice soft and uneasy. When 2D ignored her, reaching out for her bag, she jerked away roughly, startling him. She tried to smile, and added in way of an apology, “It’s nice to see you again.” Anna looked at Russel and Noodle, trying to think of something meaningful to say, but could only nod in greeting before turning and running after Murdoc, looking pale and scared.

2D stared after her, a thousand questions on the tip of his tongue.

“Well. I guess this is where movie night ends,” Noodle announced, an inexplicably mischevous expression on her face. “If you boys need me, I’ll be in my room.” With that, she made her way upstairs, leaving Russel and 2D alone.

Russel looked at the singer, who had not moved from his spot in the living room doorway, until 2D  looked back at him. “What?”

“That was the girl from the party,” was all Russel said.

2D nodded, unsure where this was going. “Yes.”

A pause. Then, Russel continued, “I thought Muds would have stopped seeing her by now.” He reached for the remote, shutting the television off just as the end credits began to roll. “And now she’s staying here?”

Suddenly, 2D understood. “You think it’s really serious, then?” Those warning bells from the morning after the party, when Murdoc had been looking for Annabelle, returned.

“I’m not saying anything, man. I’m just saying…that this isn’t how it usually goes down between him and his ladies.” Russel stood up, a pensive expression on his face. “If she’s gonna crash here for a while, I guess we’ll see.” As he strode off to the kitchen, empty popcorn bowl in his hand, 2D began to think, his brow furrowed.

Murdoc had never brought Annabelle up again since that morning. 2D had assumed he’d simply kicked her to the curb like the endless parade of women before her. Without meaning to, he’d built up a hope in his mind that things hadn't worked out between them. Even as he told himself that that wasn’t true, he closed his eyes against the embarrassment of it. Stupid. He was so fucking stupid.

And now she was staying here. Because Murdoc had invited her to stay. 

Murdoc never went out of his way to get laid; he just let the women come to him. He certainly never stayed the night with them, much less  _offered up a whole room in his house for them to stay in._

2D trekked up to his room, berating himself for the sudden hurt that welled up inside of him. It was stupid to feel this way. They still barely knew each other. 2D could barely call her a friend. She was basically just a pen pal, whom he didn't talk to much in the first place. And besides, she’d been Murdoc’s friend first. He’d known that from the start. It was stupid to feel hurt.

Stupid.

It didn't stop the heavy feeling of disappointment as he watched Murdoc follow Anna into her room, pulling the door closed behind him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure how good this chapter is, if it's throwing too much in at once. But...I have to move the plot along somehow. There's still a lot to go. I might add some filler chapters in here, for more backstory, but who knows? Thank you to everyone who's still reading at this point! I appreciate every single one of you!


	5. Before

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bring me back to fallen town  
> Where someone is still alive

All the alcohol in the world couldn’t dull the pain. But that didn’t mean Anna was going to stop trying.

She’d lost track of how many bottles she’d ordered; every time the bartender took the empty one away, she’d huff that she wanted another. The man behind the counter asked no questions and didn’t seem to care that Anna could barely keep her head up, so she was in no danger of getting cut off.

Once the bartender found out she couldn’t pay, however, he might start to give a shit.

Oh, whatever. What did it matter? What did any of it matter? Her life was over, anyway. Might as well go out with a nice buzz. Anna dipped her head back, polishing off her latest drink in one swig, slamming the empty bottle down.

As she waited for the bartender to finish up with another customer, Anna took out her phone. She watched blankly as a steady stream of messages came in, mostly from one person. Something kept her from just blocking these numbers; morbid curiosity, probably. She’d have to change her number. As soon as she had some spare cash.

Dejected, she rested her head in her arms, the alcohol hitting just enough to numb her senses, but not enough to stop the parade of toxic thoughts going through her mind.

_I can’t hide out forever._

This had become a mantra of sorts for her. Not a comforting one, obviously, but more a grim reminder of her reality. For the past few weeks, she’d lived in a sort of dreamy sub-existence; nothing seemed to matter too much if she just didn’t think about it too hard. The first few days on her own were hell; Anna had a newfound respect for the homeless people who didn’t just roll over and give up.

But once food and shelter weren’t a problem anymore, she’d sat back, staring out at the people around her. She’d been afraid of going outside and looking up into the face of someone she recognized; she had no friends here, only people who wanted her dead, or worse.

Eventually, those fears had faded to the back of her mind, and the world had blurred substantially. Most days she just sat on her bed, staring at the walls of the room she had to share with a dozen other people. Anna didn’t partake much in the conversation, just sat wondering where her life would go from here.

She’d more or less decided that it would be better to go out on her own terms instead of waiting for someone else to get the job done. But now, as she thought about it harder, maybe it wouldn’t be a mistake to try and start over again.

“Hey, dollface. That’s ten bottles so far. Any chance of you paying anytime soon?”

Oh, shit. The bartender was standing over her, his voice a little too pleasant. She’d been hoping to slip out before he realized she hadn’t paid for a single drink all night. Her best bet was to buy some more time.

“Yeah, yeah, don’t worry about it. How’s about you get me another beer first?” Anna flashed him her most winning smile, hoping he’d see things her way.

He returned the smile, and relief flooded through her. “How’s about you pay for the drinks you’ve already had?”

Fuck. “Sure. No problem. How much is it?”

“Forty pounds sterling.”

Shit. “Coming right up!”

Anna took her time reaching for her purse, digging through it as though looking for some cash that she definitely had in there. Her eyes flitted worriedly to the bartender, who was looking more and more frustrated by the second. She pretended to rifle through her bag more and more animatedly, trying not to panic.

Her purse slipped through her shaky hands and fell to the ground, and Anna scrambled to pick it up. She could have bolted then, but the alcohol had made her stupid and slow, and she felt trapped by the bartender’s steely gaze.

“Well. I’ve seen enough. I take it you can’t pay?”

Anna stood up shakily, babbling incoherently as the tears began to flow. “I’m so, so sorry. It’s just been really hard for me recently. I can’t find any work right now, and I spent my last few coins on a bag of chips earlier, and I just really, really needed something to take the edge off. I didn’t mean to drink so much, I mean it, and I know I shouldn’t have come in here-”

“Enough,” he snarled. “Listen, you little tramp, I don’t give a shit if your fucking nan just kicked the bucket, you don’t come into my bar and expect to drink for free. Do you have any idea how many bullshit stories I hear from slags like you every night?”

She winced like he’d hit her, and she bit her lip to keep from saying the wrong thing.

“Now, there’s two things that could happen right now. You could find 40 quid in that purse of yours, and that would be the end of it. Or,” he continued, with a malicious smile, “I call the police and let ‘em haul you out of here. Your choice, love. I’m fine with either, myself.”

Anna paled at the threat, and swallowed back a rising hysteria. She couldn’t go to jail, not over something like this!

“Please,” she whispered, tears running pathetically down to her chin. “Don’t call the cops.”

“Then kindly pay your tab, love.”

She couldn’t take it anymore; she started to sob, hating herself for it. “I can’t,” she wailed, holding her fists against her head.

Without another word, he picked up the cordless behind the counter. So, this was the end of the line for her. And all because she just couldn’t stay away from the bottle.

She should have just killed herself when she’d had the chance.

As she stood there, sobbing quietly, she didn’t notice the man sat at the counter gesture to the bartender. She didn’t notice him pull a couple of bills out of his wallet and slide them over to the bartender, nodding at Anna to indicate what the money was for. She was too busy planning how she’d managed to run out of the bar while the barkeeper made the call, and how likely she was to die if she got run over by a car outside.

 “Calm down, girly. You’re all set.”

Anna slowly opened her eyes to the bartender, who shook his head in disgust. “Jesus, you women. Don’t come in expecting someone to pay for your drink next time.” With that, he turned away to serve someone else. She stared after him, baffled. What the hell had just happened? Why wasn’t he calling the police?

“S’all right, love. No need to thank me.”

Anna turned to where the voice had come from, and found herself staring at the oddest man she had ever laid eyes on, two seats away. His skin was green, and not from any apparent illness. One eye appeared bloodshot, but upon further inspection, it appeared his pupil was entirely red. When he smiled at her perturbed expression, his teeth were more like fangs.

“I’m sorry?” She blinked at him, uncomprehending.

He chuckled, placing a lit cigarette between his lips. “Alright, maybe you should thank me a bit. A man pays your tab and stops that knob from calling the cops on you, and you don’t even notice.”

Anna gasped, moving over to fill the seat next to him. “Oh, my god, thank you! Thank you so much! Sorry, I was a little…I mean, I didn’t realize!”

“I noticed; you looked like you’d already accepted your fate.” He exhaled, glancing at her. “Jail’s not so bad, but something tells me you wouldn’t’ve managed. I thought I’d try and do something decent for once.”

She grinned sheepishly, unsure of what to say to that. She thanked him again, to which he said nothing. Anna stared at him a bit longer, to which he also said nothing, only smirked. Just from looking, she couldn’t tell how old he was; there was nothing that really gave it away. The lines in his face and hands suggested an older man, but his choice of clothes and haircut gave the illusion of youth.

“What’s your name?” she asked to fill the silence.

His head snapped up in surprise, an affronted expression on his face. “Hold on. You really don’t know who I am?” The man looked away again, pulling the cigarette out of his mouth taking a sip of what looked like vodka. He suddenly looked embarrassing, rubbing his face with one hand. “And here I thought you were just playing coy.”

What the hell was that supposed to mean? “I’m sorry, _should_ I know who you are?” She couldn’t help a slight sarcasm from creeping into her voice.

He surprised her with a laugh, and Anna couldn't help a small shiver run down her spine. A genuine smile, and not the arrogant smirk he’d sported before, transformed him. She could suddenly appreciate how handsome he was, in an odd way. Subconsciously, she leaned in closer to him, feeling herself start to grin.

“Well, I guess it goes to show that no one gives a shit about us anymore. Or about me, at any rate.” He took another swig of vodka, exhaling loudly as he swallowed. “Christ, that’s strong.” When he looked at her again, he was still smiling, but there was a bitter expression in his eyes that she couldn’t understand. “You seriously don’t know me from anywhere, love?”

“I’m afraid I don’t. So, I ask again: what’s your name?”

The man sighed, disappointed. “Murdoc. Murdoc Niccals.”

She searched her mind, but the name didn’t ring any bells. “Nice to meet you.” Anna leaned in closer to him, curious. “So where am I supposed to know you from, Murdoc Niccals?”

Murdoc scowled slightly, raising his glass to his mouth again. “From nowhere, apparently.” His pride was wounded enough; now she was just messing with him, he was sure of it. “Ever heard of a band called Gorillaz?”

Anna shook her head. “Feel Good Inc? Clint Eastwood? Stylo?” He made an irritated noise when he was met with one more shake of the head. “Does the name De La Soul mean anything to you?”

“Is that another band?”

Murdoc glared at her. Was she serious? “You’re just fucking with me now, aren’t you?”

Anna couldn’t help but giggle at how she’d managed to wound his ego by doing absolutely nothing. “I really don’t know what you’re talking about, Murdoc Niccals from the band Gorillaz.”

He smiled in spite of himself, putting his cigarette back in his mouth to hide it. “Well, it’s no bother, I suppose; you’ll know who we are soon enough.” An intense, excited expression took over his face. “Everyone will remember who we are, and it’ll all be down to me. Just you wait and see.”

Anna nodded, wondering if this guy had those delusions of grandeur she’d heard so much about. “Yes, I’m sure you’re right.”

Murdoc glared at her again. “Don’t patronize me.”

She grinned. “Sorry.”

“But enough about me,” he continued. “What’s your name, love?”

“I’m Anna.” She grimaced. “Short for Annabelle. I insist you don’t use my full name.”

When Murdoc met her eye again, she was perturbed by how serious he looked. “And what is it that you’re running from, Anna?”

She sputtered, caught off guard by the question. “W-what are you talking about? What makes you think I’m running from something?”

“Oh, come off it. I heard everything you told the barkeep while you were begging him not to call the cops.” Murdoc’s expression was neutral, like he didn’t care one way or the other.

Anna cleared her throat, embarrassed. “That was just something I said. I didn’t mean it. I figured maybe he’d go easy on me if he thought I was going through a rough patch.”

Murdoc studied her, allowing his eyes to roam a bit as he did. Anna didn't seem to notice, embarrassed that he'd called her out. “I dunno, love. You were knocking back the booze like you were hoping to forget something.”

She frowned, suddenly feeling defensive. “So, I like to drink. What’s that got to do with anything?”

He shot her a half smile, gesturing with his glass. “Believe me, I can’t get through the day without a little Dutch courage. But if I’m gonna get plastered, it’s not gonna be at a dump like this. Not if I was going to have any fun, anyway.”

“Why are you here, then?” Anna asked, trying to change the subject.

“Thought I’d have a quick nightcap before I head off. Just got out of a meeting and all.” He looked at her knowingly. “What’s your excuse?”

Anna looked away, feeling her face warm under his gaze. “I just…I don’t know, alright? Not everything’s got to have a reason. Maybe I just wanted to…”

“Drink to forget?” Murdoc’s smug grin was infuriating, and it suddenly pissed her off. A _lot._

“Fine, you got me; my life’s gone to shit recently. I am in a very bad place right now, and I came in here knowing I had no money because I was sick of thinking about how shit my life is, alright? Are you happy now? Is that what you wanted to hear, Murdoc Niccals?”

Murdoc didn’t look at her as he stubbed out the last of his cigarette. “Just figured I should try and help somehow.” His voice was calm, and it only made her angrier.

“What the hell do you care, anyway?” Anna asked, her tone biting.

He exhaled loudly, frustrated. “I could take it or leave it, frankly. Forgive me for trying to be a decent person.”

There was nothing that this total stranger with an ego bigger than his broken nose could do to help her. There was no point in talking about it to anyone. All she could do was keep on the run, never look back, just try to survive until the whole thing died down.

Or she could just kill herself like she’d planned. There was always that.

“Alright.” She closed her eyes, trying to get ahold of herself. “How exactly can you help me?”

He looked at her, shrugging indifferently. “You could try and talk about what’s eating you? Don’t ask me, I’ve never tried to help anyone before. I figured you’d know what you needed.”

_What I need is a way out._

“Yeah, well, don’t try and start helping people now. It always goes to shit in the end.” The dam was breaking, words were spilling out. “You start off trying to help someone, and you just end up fucking their lives up further. But neither of you realizes, because you never mean to hurt anyone. You always have their best interests at heart. But suddenly they start to depend on you a little too much, because if you’ve helped them once, you’ll help them again, right?"

The man rested an arm on her shoulder, glancing warily around the bar, afraid she would make a scene. He flinched at how violently she shook his hand off, and he was shocked at the fiery expression in her eyes. But the fire was quickly being extinguished by the tears that had welled up.

"But one day you can’t take it anymore; just when they need you the most, you turn your back, and anything that happens to them isn’t your problem anymore. No matter what it is, _you never look back._ ” Anna was shaking now, like it took all her effort not to start screaming and destroying the place. "Don't try and help anyone; they never appreciate it, and then they kill themselves when you stop." 

Murdoc stared at her, jaw hanging open slightly. Anna stood up before she said anything else she might regret. “Thank you for bailing me out tonight, Murdoc. I wish I could repay you somehow. I have to go.”

“Anna, wait-”

Already, she could feel the tears stinging at her eyes. Without another word, she all but ran for the exit, head down so no one would see her cry. When she stepped out into the night, she shrieked in surprise at the icy water that left her drenched almost immediately. “God damned fucking London,” she muttered, leaning against the side of the building. Small favors, there was an awning that kept most of the rain off of her.

_Where the hell am I going to go?_

Anna couldn’t spend the night out on the sidewalk in this rain. She had no money for a taxi or bus to the shelter house. And in this rain, she might die before she got there. Miserably, Anna sunk to the ground, not caring that it was more or less underwater by this point; she was already soaked through her clothes.  She hugged her knees to her chest, finally letting the tears leak out of her eyes.

She’d had friends, a loving family, and a future ahead of her. And she’d thrown it all away with both hands, and had the little left to her destroyed.

How much of it was her fault?

She had no idea how she’d survived until now. All she had was the duffel bag she’d left at the shelter, filled only with clothes and a couple of mementos. She didn’t go to sleep starving, but she had nothing to show for her life up until now. She had no idea how to survive on her own. She couldn’t even find a job on her own.

There was no one to call on, no one to lend a hand or offer support. Not even a shoulder to cry on. Anna had burned every bridge she’d ever built, and no one was going to help her now. Murdoc was the first person from outside the shelter who’d shown her any kindness, and she’d squandered that too. Why did she just keep pushing people away?

Why did she let all the wrong people in?

_What the fuck am I going to do?_

The door to the bar burst open, and whoever stepped outside mimicked Anna’s reaction to the rain, complete with shrieking and cowering against the wall. She didn’t notice any of it until she heard a voice directly above her head.

“Jesus Christ, Anna, what are you _doing_?”

Murdoc had to shout to be heard over the rain. She looked up at him, confused. “Did you follow me out here?” she asked, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

He rolled his eyes, and didn’t answer. “Are you trying to freeze to death?” When she didn’t respond, he sighed. “Get up. I’m taking you home.”

Immediately, she shook her head. “No, thank you. I’m fine here.” Her whole life might have gone to shit, but she still had too much pride to admit to anyone that she was homeless. Plus, she didn’t want this man doing her any more favors tonight.

“The hell you are.” Murdoc reached out for her, and Anna reluctantly let him pull her up to her feet. “Fine, I won’t take you home. But I’ve gotta put you up somewhere for the night.”

“You don’t have to worry,” Anna replied, embarrassed.

“You’re drunk and upset. I couldn’t live with myself if anything happened to you.” Murdoc squeezed her hand comfortingly, and Anna felt her face heat up at the gesture. How did he manage to do that?

She turned away, taking her hand back as she did. “Why do you care? You don’t even know me.”

Murdoc crossed his arms. “I won’t argue that point. But what you said back there…well. I was afraid you might try and off yourself if things are that bad. Couldn’t have that on my conscience.”

Anna shrunk into herself, wondering if he knew somehow where her mind was. He’d hit close to home. “Still. You’ve never met me before tonight. We’ve hardly talked at all.”

“Yeah, well.” Murdoc said nothing more, only looked her up and down again. There was a strange expression on his face, and Anna figured she must look stupid, her hair and clothes heavy with water.

It suddenly occurred to her that she was wearing a white shirt, and to her horror, the black bra she wore underneath was showing. Hastily, she crossed her arms across her chest, her cheeks on fire, and Murdoc quickly looked away like he hadn’t been staring.

Things had started to make a lot more sense.

“Well. Thanks for the offer, Murdoc, but I’m perfectly fine from here. It’s been _lovely_ talking to you.” Anna glared at him, disgusted. She wasn’t in the mood for this. She turned to walk away, abandoning the idea of waiting the storm out, ignoring how mind-numbingly cold it was. She just needed to get away from him.

It was always like this. Men offering her the world just to get in her pants. Paying for her drink, trying to get her to open up, offering to take her home…it was all just for show. It always ended the same way. He was no different from-

She’d just turned a corner when she felt a hand on her shoulder. “Anna, wait. I’m sorry. I…I’m not the most thoughtful bloke in the world, alright?” Anna turned around, wary. He was now soaked as well, his fair sticking wetly to his face and his clothes drooping from the weight of the rainwater. “But I can’t let you wander off at night during a storm.”

Anna regarded him silently, weighing her options. She could tell him to piss off, march off righteously, and never speak to him again. Or she could suck it up and let him help her, and live with the fact that he was only interested in one thing.

London was dangerous at night. And if she didn’t get mugged or killed, she might get seriously sick.

Finally, she signed hugely, swallowing her pride. “Fine. Let’s go. And _don’t_ try anything,” she snapped, her face burning. She wished she at least had a jacket to cover herself with. Murdoc held both hands up in response, possibly meaning he’d keep them to himself.

As soon as she was seated in his car, he turned the heat up as high as it would go. She closed her eyes, soaking up the warmth. She suddenly realized how tired she was. “Where are we going?” she asked as Murdoc pulled out into the road.

“Well, since you won’t let me take you home, I’m taking you to the hotel I’m staying at. Don’t worry,” he added as she raised her voice to protest. “I’ll get you your own room. You don’t even have to see me anymore tonight if you don’t want to.”

“That’s not the point,” Anna replied. “I can’t let you pay for my hotel. You’ve already paid to keep me out of jail tonight.”

He chuckled at that, turning off onto a highway. “Oh yeah, I’d almost forgot about that. It doesn’t matter, love; money’s no object.”

Anna felt a little stab of jealousy at that. “Is that so? Must be nice.”

“Easy now. I’m already going out of my way for you.”

“Yeah, after I told you that I didn’t need your help,” Anna retorted.

Murdoc shrugged, then changed the subject entirely. “So, are you gonna tell me what’s on your mind?”

Anna glared, still wounded. “You mean besides the fact that you’re an enormous pervert?”

The man shook his head, a faint smirk on his face. She could have hit him. “Can’t help myself sometimes. Especially not when I’ve got someone like you in soaking wet clothes in my car.” Anna opened her mouth to yell at him, but he cut her off. “I think I have a spare jacket in the backseat. Help yourself.”

Anna felt around, and finally yanked the jacket in question to the front. It was large, and made of what felt like high quality leather. Best of all, it was dry. She draped it over herself like a blanket, thankful for something to hide her modesty.

“So, go on.”

“Go on what?”

“Come on, Anna, I’m trying to be thoughtful for once. Anything you want to get off your chest?”

She stared out the window at the rushing rain, not taking in any landmarks or street signs. For all she knew, Murdoc could be taking her to the middle of nowhere to cut her up into pieces. But she didn’t particularly care. All her worries and troubles gathered like a rock in her throat, leaving her mute.

“That’s fine, love. Keep it to yourself.” He looked over at her as he hit a red light, his expression surprisingly gentle. Anna blushed, hating herself for it, and was surprised to feel comforted. “While I’ve got you here, I’m going to educate you on what good music sounds like.” He stabbed at a button on the car’s radio, and a CD began to play. “Ah, Demon Days. A classic if I’ve ever heard one.” He grinned at her, his excited expression from before returning. “This is us, Gorillaz. Our second studio album, and apparently the best one, if the critics have anything to say about it. Although personally, I think every album is our best album.”

Anna felt a smile start to spread across her face. Murdoc obviously took a lot of pride in this band of his, if the glowing expression on his face was any indication. “I’ve gotta warn you, Murdy, it takes a lot to impress me,” she teased, closing her eyes once more. Cautiously, Anna felt herself begin to relax.

“And I should warn you, I’ve never had to work too hard to impress anyone.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's an extra long chapter for you all! (I know, I know I should work on condensing a bit. I just can't help it, I love writing!) I thought for this chapter, we would go back in time a bit. I'm thinking I'll do this every few chapters or so, so you have a bit more context for things. What do you think? Thoughts? Questions? Concerns? Compliments? Critiques? Honestly, I just love knowing that people are reading my stuff.  
> Thanks for reading, stay tuned!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't think of any good song lyrics to put here

2D didn’t see Anna for days afterward. He didn’t wait by her door or anything, but he never saw her walk around the house or even leave her room once. The only person who ever seemed to come out of her room was Murdoc, almost always sporting a smug grin. If 2D happened to catch him as he emerged, he was met with a glare and an order to move along.

Once or twice, he considered just going up to her door and knocking, just striking up conversation with her. A few times, he began to send her a text. Every time, the image of the tense, fidgety girl she'd been upon arrival stopped him. Anna was clearly hiding out, and if it was bad enough that Murdoc had taken it upon himself to let her stay, even 2D knew better than to pry.

Despite his best efforts not to pay the girl any mind, he wondered why she was here. What had happened to her since they'd last spoken.

“Okay, again. And this time, try to sound at _least_ halfway like a band?”

Murdoc sat outside the recording booth, speaking through his mic. Russel, Noodle and 2D were the only ones doing any actual rehearsing, because, as Murdoc said earlier, “I’m not going to let you all embarrass me with half-assed, shoddy performances.” Three hours later, and the man still wasn’t satisfied.

“Come on, Muds, we’ve been at this forever. Can we at least take five?” Russel asked, stifling a yawn.

“Over my dead body,” snapped Murdoc. “Do it again.”

“It’s been hours! I think we know what we’re doing by now!”

Murdoc slammed his fist on the mic’s button, scowling. “I’ll be the judge of that, thank you. Anyway, what the hell are you complaining about?” He chuckled mockingly, pointing to Russel’s new drum machine. “You’ve done fuck-all this whole session. You’ve got the easiest job in the world: just press buttons in the right order! Consider yourself lucky.”

Noodle’s palm pressed against her face, and she muttered something about Murdoc’s lack of tact. Meanwhile, the drummer stood up, a carefully composed expression on his face. “That’s actually something I’ve been meaning to bring up with you. I am _not_ playing this stupid little machine on stage.”

“I’m sorry, come again?” Murdoc replied, his eyes narrowed.

“Either you get me some new, _real_ drums or play the damn thing yourself.” Russel’s calm voice was laced with anger as he marched away from 2D and Noodle. “I’m not gonna get pushed aside by some toy again. Not after I missed out on our whole third album!” he added, yanking the booth door open.

“Christ, not this _again,_ Russ-” Murdoc’s reply was cut off as the door closed behind the man. Immediately, their discussion devolved into a lot of arm flailing and violent gesturing. 2D watched and tried to glean what they were saying, but he wasn’t too good at reading lips.

“I guess we’re getting that break after all,” Noodle remarked, setting down her guitar. “Thank god for that; I thought I would lose my head if I had the pickle tell me what to do for a second longer.”

2D nodded and fiddled with his mic, wondering how long Russel and Murdoc would hash it out for this time. Knowing Murdoc and what a stubborn ass he was, it could take a while, meaning rehearsal could go on even longer. Knowing the green bastard, he'd force them to stay here all night, just to be spiteful.

Of course, the singer had his own reasons for resenting Plastic Beach, but he almost never took the time to appreciate how it had affected his bandmates. Murdoc was the only one who seemed to have come out on top, except for when Cyborg Noodle had turned on him, and the whole thing with the pirates trying to kill him as well. Noodle herself could have killed Murdoc after El Manana, and it was clear Russel despised that he’d been replaced by nothing more than machinery for the whole thing, to make no mention his time spent in North Korea. 

He winced, watching Murdoc jump out of his seat in a rage, pointing his finger in the drummer’s face. “They’re really getting into it,” 2D said, watching Russel’s chest rise and fall more and more rapidly. He turned away, in case the two started trading blows. It wasn’t very likely to happen, but he’d rather not bear witness if things took a turn. The last time they'd had it out, Murdoc's nose had been busted beyond repair. 

“Well, good. It’s about time they talk things through, you know; Russel told me the other day that he hates being “demoted,” in his own words, to pushing light-up buttons to make sounds.” She allowed herself a smile, recalling the conversation. She turned once more to 2D. “The tour’s coming up quick, and there’s a lot we’ve kind of just swept under the rug.” Noodle rested on an old amp, crossing one leg over the other. “Like Mudsy’s little friend, what’s-her-face.”

2D eyebrows lifted at that, and he was further confused by the furtive frown playing on Noodle’s lips. “You mean Annabelle? What about her?”

“Well, is she coming on tour with us? Staying here? Planning on leaving anytime soon?”

The bluenette paused; he hadn’t considered how long Anna intended to stay before now. “Well, I don’t exactly think  Muds would ask her to tag along-” he began.

“Personally, I’m hoping she will have left by then and it won’t be an issue,” Noodle said, cutting him off. “I’m not sure I like having her here, especially under such mysterious pretenses.”

“What’s that’s supposed to mean?” 2D asked.

She leaned forward, her eyes flashing intensely. “We don’t know anything about this girl except that she and Murdoc are fucking. Quit blushing, 2D, this is important. That bastard never helps anyone but himself, much less some girl he’s sleeping with. Yet he’s letting her stay here with us. You said that she and Murdoc have known each other a while now, right?”

2D nodded, remembering how disheveled and exhausted Anna had looked the night after the party, in vivid detail. But now wasn’t the time; Noodle was on a roll. 

“You and I both know that Murdoc never keeps a woman around for longer than a few weeks at an absolute stretch. So why does this one stick out? And more importantly, why would Murdoc let her stay here when he’s the least charitable man to ever roam the earth?”

The singer looked at the woman wordlessly, wondering if the question was rhetorical. After a beat of silence, he decided that it wasn’t. “I think you may be reading into this a bit too much, Noodle. Maybe he's really just trying to be nice for once.”

“Think, 2D! When’s the last time Murdoc ever had a woman spend the night, let alone let her take up a whole room to herself? And he’s not good at keeping secrets for anyone, so why are hers so important?”

He shrugged, perplexed. “Who said anything about keeping secrets?”

“’We’re having someone to stay with us indefinitely, no questions asked.’” Noodle scrunched up her face as she imitated Murdoc, putting on a horrible, gruff accent. “’Meaning mind your own business and don’t ask her why she’s here.’”

2D smiled at the imitation, but made no comment. He’d wondered himself why Murdoc had been so adamant about no one asking why Anna was staying with them; he’d assumed that Murdoc didn’t want to acknowledge that he could do anything decent for someone other than himself, or that he cared enough about Anna to go sticking his neck out for her.

Still, 2D couldn’t help but recall how withdrawn and rigid Anna had seemed that first night. Shrinking away as he’d reached for her bag, like she was afraid of getting struck, ducking her head as she followed Murdoc into the room she’d end up hiding in for days. A far cry from the woman who’d split a joint with him, had pulled him into a good time and let him put his arm around her. Who’d slow danced with him, had said she’d miss him too, and had spent long nights texting him about everything and nothing. 

“My point is,” Noodle went on, noting that 2D no longer seemed to be listening closely, “this woman has absolutely no business being here.” Her eyes narrowed. “At the very least, I want to know why Murdoc thinks it’s okay to let her take up space in our home. I know she's not just here because she needs a place to stay, 2D.”

The singer, without quite meaning to, rushed to Anna’s defense. “She’s not bothering anyone, Noodle. I haven’t even seen her since that first night Murdoc brought her here.”

“That’s exactly what I mean.” When Noodle met his eye again, her expression could have stopped traffic for miles. “She’s hiding something. And it can’t be anything good.” The woman’s expression was distant as she turned everything over in her mind.

Before 2D could ask Noodle what she was thinking, the door flew open again, and both Murdoc and Russel entered, seemingly unscathed. “Well, peeps, I think we’re just about done here for the day. Get out of my sight and don’t do anything stupid. Russel,” he added, patting the drummer on the back. “Good talk, mate.”

“Yeah, sure.” Russel’s voice was flat, but he couldn’t help a small smile. Noodle seemed poised to say something, a baffled expression on her face, but Russel was already out the door, the drum machine tucked under one arm.

Noodle turned to Murdoc, who was shoving equipment against the walls and yanking the plugs out of the sockets. “That was fast,” she said, at the same time 2D thought it. He thought they’d be stuck in this room for ages while Russ and Murdoc duked it out.

“Yes, well. We’re both reasonable men,” Murdoc said, shoving past 2D as he headed towards the door. “He wants new drums, I’ll get him new drums. He wants to play them on stage, I’ll put more of our old stuff on the setlist.” He opened the door, looking back briefly. “Anyone needs me, don’t bother; I have shit to do.”

He was almost out the door, and 2D was following his lead, when Noodle couldn’t help but retort. “Oh, yes. I’m sure you have a lot of things that need attending to.”

Slowly, Murdoc turned fully around, his expression dark. “I beg your pardon?”

“Oh, please Murdoc, do go on,” Noodle continued, smiling humorlessly. “I wouldn’t want to keep you from your important business. After all, it’s not like we have a tour coming up soon. We have plenty of free time to be mucking around in some bullshit hassle.”

Murdoc chuckled, closing the door partway. “You know what, Noodle, I’m not sure I get what you’re driving at.” His tone was creepily polite.

Sensing that the situation was about to turn ugly, 2D tried to walk around Murdoc and out of the room. The bassist, on a reflex, shoved 2D square in the chest, knocking the man onto his back. He sat up, gaze moving wildly between his two bandmates, terrified.

Noodle stood up then, glaring. “Cut the shit, Murdoc. What’s that girl doing here, and when is she leaving? I don’t want to waste my time worrying about when she’s going to try and tear the house apart or stir up drama. We have too much on our plate as it is without having some floozy to consider.”

“I thought I told you not to go poking about in shit that doesn’t concern you,” Murdoc growled, yanking the door with a sudden hard pull. “Frankly, it’s none of your fucking concern. You just strum that little guitar of yours and keep your nose out of things!”

“Don’t you _dare_ fucking patronize me!” she yelled, marching up to Murdoc furiously. “She may be your guest, but you’re not the only one who lives here! We have no idea who this girl is! And we’re just supposed to go along with what you say, take your word for it that she’s not trying to pull something?” She shifted slightly, clenching her fists and setting her feet apart.

2D scrambled to stand up, standing behind Noodle and getting ready to hold her back. Murdoc smirked, the situation not lost on him. “That’s right, Noodle. You’re just going to have to take my word for it that everything’s on the up and up. I don’t have to explain shit to you, or anyone.”

Noodle growled, and pulled her fist back. 2D, losing his nerve, stepped away and covered his head with both hands. This was about to get messy.

“But if you _must_ know, you nosy little prick, I’m trying to protect her from something.”

The singer’s head snapped up at that, his eyes open wide. Noodle’s arm dropped to her side as she stared at Murdoc, mouth slightly agape. “Wait, what?”

“I’m not going to stand here and tell you the poor girl’s whole life story. All you need to know is that she wasn’t safe before, but she is now. She needed a place to stay, and I gave her one. We had an extra bed, and she’s sleeping in it. She used to live somewhere else, and now she lives here. For the time being. Do I need to draw you a fucking picture, or do you get it?” Murdoc’s sarcastic expression was gone; he seemed serious.

Noodle didn’t respond at first, trying to work through Murdoc’s revelation. She’d never expected him to tell her anything so quickly. “But why would _you_ help her?” she asked. “You wouldn’t help yourself to seconds if it meant someone got your scraps.”

Murdoc rolled his eyes. “Yes, what on _earth_ do I stand to benefit from letting some fit young bird live under the same roof as me? I must really be off my rocker.”

She scowled at that. “You’re disgusting.”

“And you’re the one who asked. Now, I’ll say it one more time: mind your own fucking business.” His glare fell suddenly on 2D. “That goes for the both of you.” The singer nodded, fearful of incurring the man’s wrath. With that, Murdoc turned away and slammed the door shut behind him, leaving Noodle to stand staring after him.

After a moment of silence, she turned to 2D, her brow furrowed. “I can’t stand him.”

2D sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Honestly, Noodle, I think you’re getting too worked up over this. I don’t think Annabelle is plotting to take us hostage or anything.”

“Why the hell are _you_ defending her?” Noodle spun to face him properly.

The singer sputtered, surprised. “I’m not! I’m just…” He trailed off, feeling his face start to warm up. “Look, I just don’t think it’s good to be so suspicious; you’re gonna drive yourself mad. She’s stayed out of your way so far, hasn’t she?”

Noodle studied him for a moment, before her eyes lit up in understanding. “Oh, _I_ see.”

“What?”

Her tone was playful, but her eyes were narrowed disapprovingly. “You _like_ that girl. Anna or whatever her name is.”

2D felt like this face was on fire. “What? No, don’t be stupid, of course I don’t!” He looked off to the side, unable to look his friend in the eye. “I hardly know her. We don’t even really talk.”

“If you say so.” Noodle’s teasing expression was replaced with a furtive frown. “Wait. So you’re sort of her friend, right?”

“Kind of-”

“Then you can ask her!” Noodle exclaimed. “Ask her why she’s here and let me know. You're the only one of us besides Murdoc who's spoken more than a sentence to her. Not that she couldn’t lie, but I think you’re smart enough to know if she’s telling the truth or not."

"Noodle, no. I haven't seen her the whole time she's been here, and plus, I haven't even talked to her in weeks. Plus, Murdoc  _just_ told us not to pry." 2D couldn't understand why the guitarist refused to let this go. "Besides, he told you something, at least; she's in some sort of trouble, and he's trying to protect her from it. Isn't that enough?"

"That could mean anything! We don't know what kind of trouble he means. Is it drugs? An abusive relationship? Are the  _police_ after her? 2D, what if her trouble or whatever tries to track her down? What if we get roped into it? Do you have any idea how that'll look when we're about to go on a world tour? Murdoc's not just anyone, he's famous! We all are! How do we know she isn't going to abuse that somehow?" She gripped 2D's arms roughly, her expression intense and almost scary. "You have to at least  _try_ and get something out of her."

This whole conversation had become a chore. 2D couldn’t keep the frustration out of his voice as he pulled the woman's arms off of him. “Noodle, I’m not going to spy on Annabelle for you. One, because I don’t think she has anything bad to hide, and two, maybe Muds is right and it’s really none of our business.”

"It  _is_ our business, 2D!"

If she wasn't going to respond to reason, there was only one thing 2D had left in his arsenal: silence. He stepped away from Noodle, going back to his mic, ignoring the burning looking in the young woman's eyes. Pretending she wasn't even there, he did some vocal warm ups, closing his eyes as he focused on hitting the right notes. This went on for much longer than he expected, and he was almost ready to quit and just make a run for the door, when Noodle's patience finally ran out. 

Groaning, Noodle turned her back on him, storming towards the door. “Fine, be like that. But when she ends up being a fugitive or a mental ward escapee, don’t come crying to me.” She faced him once more, one hand on the door handle, waiting for him to look at her. “And for the record, I don’t think she likes you back.” _Slam._

2D watched her leave through the studio’s window, baffled. Noodle was probably the most suspicious person he’d ever met, but she’d always had good reason to be. She was just trying to protect everyone. Still, 2D couldn’t believe someone like Anna would try do any wrong by them, or that her mere presence could set Noodle off like that. 

At least rehearsal had gone okay.

He stayed back a bit longer, cleaning up properly where Murdoc had just shoved things carelessly away. He hummed to himself, a tune that had stuck with him since a few nights ago. The singer had shot out of bed to jot the notes down, and unbeknownst to anyone, had been cooking up a song. Of course, 2D was almost always writing song lyrics or making beats, but this one felt different. It was something he wanted to make his own, without any outside input.

Finally, when the room was as neat as he could make it, he left the room. 2D was lost in thought as he made his way back to his bedroom, careful to avoid running into Noodle He winced as he recalled her allegation that he had feelings for Anna. It was ridiculous, of course. Noodle was just trying to hurt him, and hadn't meant it. Besides, he knew next to nothing about Anna, apart from the little bits of personal trivia she'd shared with him over text. Sure, she was pretty, and fun, and there was something about her that 2D found undeniably alluring, whether it was her charm or her open affection or just the simple fact that he'd felt so safe sharing such personal things with her...

Well, alright. Maybe he did have a bit of a crush.

It was just as he was coming to this conclusion that he heard screaming coming from upstairs. Panicking, he ran up the steps, nearly tripping a few times, wondering what was going on now. Catching his breath, 2D listened to the sounds of raised voices coming from...Anna's room.  _What the hell?_ he thought.

The walls in this house were soundproof, or at least pretty good at keeping noises in. But still, he could clearly hear Murdoc yelling, and what had to be Anna's voice responding in kind. He couldn't make out what they were saying, but it had to be ugly, and a pretty loud fight, for him to hear even this much. 

After a while of just standing there, blatantly trying to catch a word or two, he realized that the door could fly open any second, and he'd be caught. He had just passed by Anna's room, stunned by what he'd almost heard, when the door flew open. 2D spun back to see Murdoc thrown from the bedroom, howling as he hit the ground with a loud thud. "Anna, for fuck's sake!"

The door slummed shut just as he sprung back up, narrowly missing crushing his foot in the frame. Murdoc pounded his fist on the door, enraged, not even noticing 2D standing there, slack-jawed in shock. “Open the fucking door, Anna! We’re not done talking about this!”

“Fuck you!” came the muffled reply, now that 2D was close enough just to make it out.

“Don’t be such a brat! Let me in, damn it!” Murdoc twisted the doorknob, yanking and kicking fruitlessly. When the door refused to yield, Murdoc gave up with a final frustrated kick. “Fine! Be a bitch then, why don’t you! See if I care!” He turned away, fists clenched angrily, when his eyes landed on 2D, who flinched at being caught out. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

2D shook his head wildly, shrinking under Murdoc’s evil eye. He began to stutter about how he was just heading to his room and hadn't seen a thing, but the bassist seemed not to hear or care; he just sighed hugely, tucking his hands into his pants pockets as he descended the stairs, a troubled expression on his face. 2D watched Murdoc go, wondering why he’d been let off the hook so easily. And what the hell all that yelling had been about.

He decided to take a chance. Walking up to Anna’s door, he hesitated for a moment before knocking, with no idea what he would say to her.

“Murdoc, I told you to leave me alone!” The voice seemed to come from right under the door.

“It’s not Murdoc,” 2D replied, perplexed. “It's me, 2D." When she didn't say anything, he took a deep breath. _Here we go._ "Can I come in?”

There was a pause, during which he considered cutting his losses and just walking away. Finally, the door cracked open, just enough for Anna to peek out. Anna made no move to open the door any further, but 2D could see the dark circles under her eyes, which were rimmed red and bloodshot. She looked awful. "Hey."

“Hey yourself. How are you?” A stupid question, sure, but it was the only thing he could think to say.

She gave him a look that made him feel like the world's greatest imbecile. "I've been better," she replied, her voice flat. "Did you need something?"

"Well...can I come in?"

When Anna didn’t respond, he began to fidget nervously; he should have just kept on walking. “I just wanted to make sure you were alright,” he muttered lamely, cursing himself for thinking this was a good idea.

Finally, with a gusty sigh, Anna opened the door all the way. The smile she gave him was exhausted and forlorn. “Be my guest.”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A day late on the update, but better late than never! Sorry if people seem a little OOC, I'm still pretty new to the characters. I'm trying hard to get better! Thanks for reading this far. Sorry if this chapter isn't very interesting; it's all about moving the plot along! I appreciate the hits and kudos, and I live for your comments. Until next time! <3


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I AM TAKING PROMPT REQUESTS FOR THE NEXT COUPLE OF CHAPTERS  
> SEE NOTE AT END OF CHAPTER FOR MORE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got lost on highways  
> But don't ask me where I've been  
> Or what I've done

2D could hardly believe this was the same girl from the party. He couldn’t be sure, but Anna seemed even smaller than he remembered her. Her hair was tied back messily, just to keep it out of her face, and in her baggy, ill-fitting clothes, she looked like a drifter. Even in the half light of the room, he could see how much paler she’d become since he last saw her. The dark circles under her eyes looked like fresh bruises, and with her misty, bloodshot eyes, Anna looked on edge and slightly mad.

“You don’t have to stare like that,” she said, slightly irritably. She turned away from him and took a seat on her bed. Immediately, she hugged her knees to her chest. “I know I look like shit.”

Embarrassed, 2D took inventory of the room instead. The bed was neatly made, like it had never been slept in. Anna’s bags were pushed off into a corner, and 2D wondered if she’d bothered to unpack. The floor was free of clutter, and with the curtains drawn, the room looked like it had never been used at all.

Slowly, he stepped into what had been her world for the past week, shutting the door behind him. “You don’t look like shit,” he said to be polite. “You just seem a bit…tired.” Truthfully, she looked like she hadn’t slept in days. Maybe ever.

“Don’t lie to me, 2D.” Anna managed to smile. “It’s good to see you again, by the way.”

“Likewise,” he replied. “It’s a bit weird, you know. Knowing you’ve been here so long and never once clapping eyes on you before now.”

Anna’s eyebrows raised in surprise. “How long have I been here already?”

2D peered at her wonderingly. How far gone was she that she had to ask? “It’s gone a week since you got here,” he replied, walking up to her. Cautiously, he took a seat on the edge of her bed. “Part of me thought you’d left without saying anything.”

Her eyes widened in horror. “A _week_? Jesus, I’m a fucking mess.” She buried her face in her knees, groaning. “How did I not realize? Fuck, and what have I got to show for it? All I’ve done is sleep, eat, and…” Anna blushed suddenly, cutting herself off. “Anyway,” she continued, “I can’t believe I’ve just wasted a whole week locked in here doing nothing.”

“You’re not trapped, you know,” 2D remarked. “You can come out whenever you want.”

Anna shook her head in disagreement. “I don’t like to come out during the day. I’m afraid of getting in anyone’s way.” She looked at the man, frowning. “Your friend Noodle doesn’t want me here.”

2D was surprised; he couldn’t deny the fact, but he didn’t want to confirm Anna was right either. “Did she tell you that herself?” he asked.

Anna shrugged. “She may as well have. The second night I was here, she knocked on my door and asked if she could come in. I was in an awful state, but I didn’t want to be rude. Plus, I thought I should get to know the rest of you if I was planning on living here for a while. I knew she would ask why I was here, sure, but I didn’t know she’d make such a huge case about it, or that she’d get so irritated when I didn’t come right out and tell her why. It felt like I was being interrogated, and I really wasn’t up for it. So, when I wouldn’t tell her more than the bare minimum, which is that Murdoc had invited me to stay…” Anna’s face darkened. “Well. She didn’t have to say anything. The look on her face was enough: I wasn’t welcome here. Then she just left, and that’s the last I saw of her.”

They sat in silence for a while, 2D digesting this. He hadn’t realized to what degree Noodle felt this way, only that she was suspicious of Anna’s circumstances. She’d also failed to mention that she had already questioned Anna herself, and gotten nowhere.

“I don’t blame her,” Anna said suddenly. “I know she was only looking out for you guys. I mean, you don’t know me from a hole in the wall. Of course she’d want to know why I’m here, especially since I point blank refused to tell her myself.”

2D reached out, awkwardly patting her shoulder. He didn’t know what else to do. “She didn’t have to be so rude, though.”

Anna sighed. “She wasn’t rude, really. Just very…forward.” She smiled slightly. “I gotta say, it’s pretty admirable how she doesn’t beat around the bush.” She put her hand over 2D’s, pulling it off her shoulder. “Don’t do that; that’s something my uncle would do, and I hated that guy.”

“Sorry,” 2D said, putting his hands back on his lap.

“Anyway,” Anna went on, “that’s kind of why you haven’t seen much of me. I didn’t want to run into Noodle and set her off.” When she looked at 2D again, her face was sullen. “Or anyone, really. I don’t want to be a nuisance, and I don’t plan to stick around long.”

“You can stay as long as you want,” 2D said, smiling reassuringly. “We won’t kick you out. At least…” He cleared his throat, hesitating. He didn’t want to make any false promises, nor contradict anything Murdoc might have told her. “Well, anyway. It’s no bother, having you here. Like I said, this is the first I’ve seen of you in a week.” A thought occurred to him. “If you never come out, how have you been eating and stuff?”

Anna shrugged, her expression still troubled. “Murdoc brings food to my room. He forgets sometimes, though. But I don’t mind.”

 _That’s strange,_ 2D thought. “You make it sound like you’re his prisoner or something.”

She chuckled, relaxing enough to get out of her sitting fetal position. “It’s not as bad as that. I just forget to eat sometimes. I don’t think I’d eat at all if he didn’t remind me to. Plus,” she added quickly, as 2D opened his mouth, “I’m…kind of too on edge for it these days anyway.”

“That doesn’t sound good,” 2D replied, concerned. He studied her face for any telltale signs of illness. “Are you sick or something?”

She turned away from him, staring blankly at the floor. “No, I’m not sick. Just nervous.”

2D took a deep breath, steeling himself. “Can I ask why?”

Anna stared at him for a long moment, and he already knew she wouldn’t tell him. She might get furious, berate him for asking, kick him out of the room and out of her life. She’d probably tell Murdoc that he’d asked why she was here, when he’d made it clear it wasn’t anyone’s business, and there’d really be hell to pay-

“Someone’s looking for me. And if they catch me, I’m in deep shit.”

2D’s eyes widened in shock. “What?”

“You heard me.” Anna looked at him warningly, her expression rigid. “Please, don’t ask me again.”

“But…” 2D couldn’t stop himself. “Who’s looking for you? Do you know them?”

“2D, stop.”

He shook his head vigorously. “No way. If you’re in trouble, I want to help you however I can.”

“There’s nothing you can do, 2D. Please, just drop it.”

He ignored that, gripped by the thought that someone was after her. “I’ll do anything I can, really. You’re my friend, right? I want to help you.”

She looked away from him, feeling her stomach clench. “Murdoc’s already letting me stay here; there’s not much else I can do besides hide out for a while.”

“But you can’t just wait this out! What if they’re still looking for you?” 2D pressed on, not realizing he was only succeeding in freaking her out further. “If they want to find you badly enough, they will, and like you said, you’d be in some serious shit if that happens.”

“I know.” It was suddenly very hard to get enough air. “But they won’t find me here.”

“But what if they do?” 2D grabbed her by the shoulders, forcing Anna to look him in the eye. “Then where will you go? You have to let me help you somehow. What will they do to you if they find you, if you’re scared enough that you feel the need to let Murdoc hide you away in this room?”

Anna recoiled, pulling away from him. “2D, I don’t want to talk about this.”

He reached out for her hand, flinching slightly when she tore it away. She bit her lip so hard that she broke the skin, and began to shake. “I don’t want to see you get hurt. Please, I want to help you.” 2D’s voice was far too calm for how agitated she’d become; it only made her feel worse.

“Just leave it alone, 2D. It doesn’t matter, none of it matters.”

“Annabelle-”

“ _DROP IT!”_

2D stared at her, mouth agape. He had sensed her getting angry, but he’d only been trying to help. Anna was breathing hard, and clenching her fists like it took all her willpower not to punch him in the face.

“Don’t…don’t you fucking…” She was struggling to get the words out. “I don’t want…I shouldn’t have let you…he said…he said you guys would…why can’t you just…” The tears came all at once, burning her skin as the rolled down her face. 2D made a move for her hand again, but stopped when she raised a clenched fist. On a reflex, he covered his face, cowering, waiting for the blow to come.

When none came, he raised his head again, watching the flood of tears that she made no move to wipe away. “Annabelle?”

The fury in her features had melted away, replaced by a distant, dead-eyed expression. Her fist had fallen to her side, still clenched hard. 2D had no idea where her mind was right now, but if he asked, something told him Anna wouldn’t answer. Although she was staring right at him, she didn’t appear to be looking at him. He couldn’t know the litany of thoughts and memories running through her head, leaving her numb, mentally dead to the world.

The longer she stayed like that, unmoving, the more it scared him. Tentatively, 2D waved a hand over her face hoping to bring her back to the present. “Annabelle? Are you alright?” When she failed to respond, a huge wave of guilt washed over him; maybe he shouldn’t have pushed so hard. “I’m sorry. Murdoc was right, I should just mind my own business.”

A lifetime seemed to pass before she seemed to return to reality, but it was a long time before she could even look 2D in the eye again. His eyes were wide with panic, like he was afraid she’d blow up at him; when she opened her eyes from a long blink, he had covered his face with his arms, peering at her in terror.

“Anna, I’m…I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”

Eventually, she found her voice again. “It’s okay. You were just trying to help.” Anna took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. “Just…don’t, okay? I came here to hide, but I also came here to escape. I don’t want to think about my problems right now.”

She hugged her knees to her chest again, taking a moment to swipe at the tears that had dried on her face. “It’s just too much all at once.”

Anna slowly caught her breath while 2D pulled at a loose thread on his shirt. He wasn’t the smartest person he’d ever met, but even he should have known when to stop pressing someone when they got like that. If Noodle wanted answers anytime soon, she’d be waiting a long time for nothing. Clearly, it wasn’t something Anna would share with anyone, except maybe Murdoc.

“I really can’t apologize enough-”

“2D, it’s okay. Really. Just stop, okay?”

He nodded, afraid of upsetting her again. They sat in silence, the singer unsure of what to do now. This hadn’t gone at all like he’d expected. He’d just wanted to see her again, hang out maybe. Spend time with her. Now it was looking like maybe he should cut his losses and leave.

After what seemed like ages, Anna, who seemed to have recovered somewhat, gave him one small blessing: she didn’t kick him out and changed the subject instead. “Did anything happen at rehearsal today?”

He shrugged, still focused on the thread. “Not really. We practiced some. At least me, Noodle and Russel did; Murdoc mostly just yelled a lot. We argued a bit over the setlist, and the bastard pickle told me we aren’t doing anything that wasn’t from our “proper albums,” his words, not mine. Said all the songs I made myself were rubbish and he’d sooner die than subject anyone to them. Again, his words.” 2D scowled, remembering how Murdoc had laughed in his face when he’d tentatively asked if he could do anything from The Fall, remarking how 2D was even stupider than he thought if he considered anything on that album worth listening to.

The old man may have softened up considerably, but he pulled no punches when it came to the band; it was his way or an ashtray to the head.

“So…he was in a bad mood then?”

2D shook his head, wondering where this was going. “Not really; he was just being arsehole, but he almost always is. Why do you ask?”

Anna grimaced, her demeanor uncomfortable but no longer quite so edgy. “Um…I don’t know how much you heard, but we just had a huge argument. It was my fault, honestly, but I was wondering if anything happened downstairs that might have set him off.”

The singer, apparently forgetting that his incessant questioning had nearly driven her insane just a moment ago, asked, “What were you two fighting about?”

Anna opened her mouth, but closed it again a second later. In the end, she couldn’t bring herself to get into it, especially not now with her emotions still running so high. “Nothing, really. Couple stuff. You know how it is.”

2D chuckled ruefully, staring up at the ceiling. “I don’t, really. Can’t remember the last time I’ve been in a proper relationship.” He closed his eyes, casting his mind back as far as it would go. But seeing as how he’d been on drugs for the better part of his adulthood, not to mention how much head trauma he’d endured, he couldn’t really recall much.

There was Paula, of course, his first real love, who’d shagged Murdoc in the toilets. Sweet Rachel, who was honestly quite a terrible singer, but she’d been nice to him for the short while she’d stuck around. Kylie, who’d been fantastic in every way but threatened him with lawsuits and violence if he ever let on that they’d ever been together. A few others, none of whom he could remember by name because they’d been in and out of his life too soon for him to fall too hard. One or two he knew he was forgetting.

Suddenly, he replayed what Anna had said to him, looking at her in what felt like horror. “So, you and Murdoc are a real and true couple then?”

Anna seemed surprised by the question, and didn't answer right away. "I guess so... I mean, we've been seeing each other for a while now, but...yeah. Yeah, I guess you could say that." 

The singer recalled Murdoc saying almost exactly the same thing the night of the party. "You don't exactly sound sure of things." 

 

It was another long moment before she replied. "I'm not. But he's been there for me for a long time, so..." She looked at 2D again, her face drawn. "He's never mentioned me before now, has he? Never said anything about being in a relationship?"

Trying to ignore his crushing disappointment, he fixed a reassuring smile on his face. “He hasn’t denied it or anything, if that’s what you mean. But,” he added, figuring it was best to be honest, “he doesn’t exactly go around talking about you either. So, we didn’t really know what to make of it when you came round to stay. We didn’t want to assume you know? Murdoc’s not one for relationships, so we thought you were...uh…”

 _Fuck,_ he thought, watching Anna’s face carefully. _There is no safe way to end a sentence like that._ “What I meant was,” he said, kicking himself, “we didn’t want to assume you were his girlfriend. Murdoc almost never brings a girl back home with him unless he’s just looking to…” _Shit, SHIT!_ “Well, I mean, I’m sure it’s different with you!” he added quickly. “I mean, I’ve never seen him bring the same girl home twice before, so clearly you must be something special! And letting you stay here? If you knew how many girls he’s shagged that he never talks to again, and now here he is, going out of his way to protect you from-”

“2D.”

“Yes?”

“Shut up.”

“Right. Sorry.”

Yet another silence fell between them, as 2D berated himself for not knowing when to stop talking. When Anna cleared her throat, he expected her to look downcast, crushed. But inexplicably, she began to smile. “So…he’s really never had real relationship before?”

“Well…no. I guess not. If he has, he never brought them up. Truth be told, he doesn't have a great track record with women beyond shagging 'em.” He thought of Murdoc, finding out that 2D was talking about his personal life to this girl he'd invited to stay in his home, and gave Anna a slightly petrified look. “Could you maybe not tell Murdoc about this? He’d have my head if he thought I was talking shit behind his back."

Anna pantomimed zipping her mouth shut. She couldn’t keep the smile off her face, and she began to look more like the girl who’d danced with him at the party. He was caught off guard by her next question. “Did you say you’ve made your own songs?”

“Oh! Well yeah, kind of. I put them on an album under the band’s name, though. I thought it would help it sell better.” He fended off a long-buried resentment.

“I’m guessing it’d didn’t sell too well?”

2D sighed, hunching his shoulders dejectedly. “Doesn’t matter. S’been years now. I don’t really dwell on it anymore.”

Anna patted him on the shoulder, raising a small smile from him. “I’d like to hear some.”

He shook his head. “No, you wouldn’t. It’s nothing like what I’ve done for the band. It’s all me, and I’m sort of, well, rubbish without everyone else.”

“That is total crap! You write songs for the band, don’t you?”

“Well sure, but then I’ve got everyone else’s input to help make the song good. Usually I just end up singing whatever Murdoc tells me to, unless I put my foot down. It’s easier to just go along with him.”

Anna rolled her eyes. “He should let you do more than just sing and look pretty. I’m sure your solo stuff is great. Seriously, can I hear some?”

2D raised an eyebrow. “What, you mean right now?”

Anna gasped in sudden delight. “Oh, wow, that’s true! You could just sing it for me! I mean, if you don’t mind. Do you mind?”

“Well…” The singer considered, wondering how much she’d enjoy his singing without the backing track and recording booth vocals. But when he looked at her to deny the request, the smile she gave him was so bright considering how sad she'd been not a moment ago, he didn't have the heart to refuse. 

“Alright, one song. After that, you’ll just have to buy the album.” He grinned as she giggled at the dumb little joke. “You know, normally I charge for live performances. Consider yourself lucky.”

She smiled once more before waving him on, waiting for him to begin. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes for just a moment, before he words left his mouth. He was particularly proud of this one, which he'd written on the bus in Texas. It was a miserably hot place; he had no idea how anyone stood to live there. But they'd gotten lost on the road to the hotel one night, and they drove so long that by the time they'd arrived, the sun was starting to rise. It had been a wonderful inspiration. 

When he finished the short tune, he looked at Anna nervously, wondering if she was going to clap politely when she really thought he’d been a huge git to think putting out his own album had been a good idea.

The swooning expression on her face, one he’d seen so many times before on women desperate for a piece of him, was enough to make him blush. He turned away, waiting for some compliment or other, but when he dared to look at her again, she still had a dreamy look in her eyes. 2D couldn’t help feeling a little proud that he'd literally left her speechless. 

Finally, she said, “That was…incredible. What’s that one called?”

“Amarillo. Like the color, but it’s a place in Texas, too.”

She nodded, and said nothing more. 2D wondered where her mind was when she finally spoke again. “What’s it about? It sounds  sad.”

“I…” 2D shrugged, abashed. “Well, it’s not about much. Being lost, on a highway, in life. Feeling lonely. Truth be told, I wasn’t the happiest chap alive when I put this album together. None of us were, really. I don’t recommend you listen to the album if you’re looking for something to feel happy about.”

Anna nodded, and said nothing more. 2D wondered if the song had managed to upset her somehow. 

“Hey.” Anna looked at him, a lively smile on her face. "Did you have any plans for today after rehearsal?"

2D, caught slightly off guard, said, "N-no, not really. I don't usually do anything after rehearsal except eat and...why, did you want to hang out?" His voice rose hopefully on the last few words. 

“Yeah! Let's do something together! The only person I’ve seen this week is Murdoc, and when he’s in here, it’s always for…well, anyway. I’m going crazy in here. Can we go somewhere?”

Her enthusiasm was infectious; 2D felt a smile spread across his face to match hers. “Yeah, definitely. Did you have anything in mind?”

“I’m up for anything, really. Just so long as it gets me out of the house.” Anna jumped off her bed, yanking her hair loose and letting it fall in a mess over her shoulders. “I just need a minute to clean up and get dressed. You know, after all that talk about food, I’m kind of starving. Maybe we should go out somewhere to eat.” She opened her duffel bag, pulling clothes out seemingly at random. “You can pick; I have no idea what’s good around here. I know I said I lived in London before, but I didn’t really _live_ here, you know? I have no idea where anything is, even.”

2D watched as Anna began to come to life, talking a mile a minute as she went about her business. She walked into her en suite, leaving the door open so she didn’t have to pause in her conversation, 2D staying rooted to his seat on her bed. When she stepped out of the bathroom, she looked again like the girl that 2D had felt so lucky to meet a month ago, her smile relaxed and her eye lit up with excitement.

She grabbed his shoulder, pulling him up to his feet in a strangely familiar motion, never pausing to even take a breath as they made their way through the house. 2D let her talk, figuring she was full of suppressed conversation from shutting herself away for so long. He caught Noodle’s eye as they passed by the kitchen, and he could only grin at her flabbergasted expression. Russel was coming in at the same moment that the two opened the front door, and Anna paused just long enough to politely excuse herself as she almost collided with Russel. He raised a questioning eyebrow at 2D, but called after the two to have a good time as the pair walked through the gates. 2D glanced at her, still holding his arm, still talking a mile a minute. He couldn't help but smile at her transformation; not two seconds ago, she'd been on the verge of a meltdown. And now, she was suddenly the giggling, dizzying girl from before. 

2D hadn’t noticed Murdoc, who was about to come up the stairs when he heard Anna’s voice on the floor above him. The bassist opened his mouth to call up to her, wondering why she’d chosen now to come out of her room, especially so soon after their little row. When he saw a flash of blue hair, he’d backed away, out of sight. Murdoc watched as Anna led 2D away, her arm linked with his, yammering on about where to eat. She looked glowing, compared to how she’d looked not half an hour ago; he couldn’t even see the circles under her eyes anymore. She seemed almost maniacally chipper, which wasn’t unusual for her up until recently.

It was the little smile on 2D’s face that set something off inside him. But by the time Murdoc decided to make himself known to the pair, they were already gone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo I realize that the relationship I'm writing here might not be fleshed out too well, so I'm thinking the next two or so chapters should be little, fluffier fics between Anna and 2D. Just so I can feel like there's more interaction going on here than has been implied so far.  
> Do you have any prompts you're dying for me to try my hand at? Let me know! Only stipulation: they can't be inherently sexual or romantic in nature. Think along the lines of coffee dates and stuff of that nature. If you guys want, I'll even try and write them in the 2nd person from Anna's perspective. She is, after all, sort of supposed to be the reader insert for this story. If I get no requests, or any I don't feel are appropriate, I'll just scour Tumblr for a bit.  
> Thanks for reading! :D


	8. Before

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ten years passed tonight  
> You'll flee

“Wait, play that one again. I really liked it!”

Murdoc obligingly hit a button on the car’s radio, and ‘El Mañana’ filled the air once more. “This one’s got a bit of history to it,” he said, turning to get off the highway. He glanced over at Anna, who was moving her head slightly to the beat of the song, no longer just listening to be polite. He’d played most of their better-known songs for Anna already, and she’d been positive and full of praise, but this one in particular seemed to strike a chord with her.

No matter how much time passed, Murdoc never tired of the surge of pride when met with praise, although he’d mastered the art of hiding it.

They hadn’t talked much more the whole ride, and when they did speak, it was all to do with Gorillaz. How long they’d been together, what sort of projects they were tackling, the notable accolades they’d gained. Anna was shocked when Murdoc regaled her with their long record of success, and part of her wondered how much of it was true. She couldn’t really appreciate how famous Gorillaz were, which Murdoc found a tad amusing.

“Who’s singing this? Is it you?” Anna asked. The singer’s voice was so lovely, warbling and filled with pain as he sang about an unrequited love. Romantic, and raw; and here she thought she’d have to pretend to like the music to be polite. No, this was fantastic, and Anna was certainly no critic.

Murdoc couldn’t help a bitter laugh as he slowed at a red light. “Nah, that’s not me. I can’t hit a note if it owes me money. That’s our lead singer, 2D. He’s the stupidest knob I’ve ever met, but damned if he can’t sing.”

Anna shot him a strange look. “2D? As in the number two, letter d? Who the hell names their kid that?”

“S’not his real name, silly; real’s name Stu Pot. Course, can’t have the face of our band prancing around with a name that sounds like he sells insurance door to door.” Murdoc hit the gas suddenly; the light had stayed red longer than he was willing to wait. Besides, there were no cars coming. “Anyway, I started calling him 2D around the time Gorillaz first got started, to commemorate our meeting. It’s stuck ever since.”

The young woman bit back the desire to criticize the man’s reckless driving, especially since it was still pouring rain outside. At least, after four years of living her, she was no longer terrified of driving on the left side of the road. Instead, she pulled Murdoc’s jacket more tightly around her, glad for the warmth and for the car’s heater. Glad she’d let Murdoc help her out of what could have been a terrible night.

“Well, he may have a stupid nickname, but he’s really good.”

“Don’t I know it. As soon as I saw the stupid, no-eyed son of a bitch, I knew he’d make me a fortune.” Murdoc smirked at his description of the man, who had stayed behind with Noodle and Russel. Murdoc had almost insisted the singer tag along to the meeting, but after having spent hours in a stuffy boardroom to talk advertising and promotion, he was glad to have left him behind. Would have been too much trouble keeping the idiot on track with what was going on.

Anna looked over at the man, confused. “’No-eyed’? Is he blind or something?”

“He’s got his eyes, he just can’t fucking see out of them. Big and black as the night, they are. I tell ya, he’d be completely useless to me if not for his singing. Can’t see three feet in front of him without tripping over his own stupid feet.”

Chuckling slightly, Anna settled more comfortably into her seat, shutting her eyes. “You’re not the nicest person, are you, Murdy?”

Murdoc glanced over at her again, suddenly annoyed. “Nice enough to help you out a bind.” When Anna didn’t reply, he exhaled loudly through his nostrils, scowling. He wasn’t sure anymore what had compelled him to help out a perfect stranger, why he’d pitied her so much a short while ago. Why he’d given half a thought as to what had landed her in a seedy bar so late at night.

Especially since she was a stranger who hadn’t had the decency to recognize him as the great Murdoc Niccals, mastermind behind the greatest band in the world. And who did she think she was, mocking him when he’d gone so far out of his way for her?

A quick sweep of the girl reminded Murdoc that this wasn’t just anyone he was helping; with any luck, she’d would be so overcome with gratitude that she’d be open to a good shagging. Of course, he’d agreed to keep his hands to himself, but that had never stopped him before; most women couldn’t resist him for too long. Oh, they tried, of course, trying to keep their dignity or pride or whatever, but Murdoc was good at getting what he wanted; it’s what had made Gorillaz famous. 

Desperate just to cop a feel, give Anna’s thigh a little squeeze, it was hard to keep his hands on the wheel, but Murdoc managed it somehow. Patience was a virtue he often lacked. He’d work his way into this girl’s pants somehow.

His gaze suddenly flickered to the rearview mirror, and Murdoc did a double take at what he saw. Although the bassist thought he was still worthy of the title “Sex God,” he couldn’t help but notice how much he’d aged. Half a century old, and it showed. He sighed, adjusting the mirror slightly, before fixing his eyes firmly on the road.

Plastic Beach had been a dream come true from him, but it had slowly, and then all at once, exploded into a nightmare. It had taken a lot out of everyone, and had taken nearly half a decade to recover from. Things had been strained for a long while afterward, everyone with their own hangups. But these four lives seemed infinitely intertwined; no matter how much shit got in between them, they always came together in the end. Even though he knew everyone in Gorillaz would desert him in a second if they thought they could make it without him.

The song ended, and just in time; the hotel was just up ahead. He didn’t know if it was the memories the song brought back, the lyrics itself, or his acknowledgement that he was fifty years old and everyone he knew hated him in some measure, but suddenly he wasn’t as eager to get settled in as he had been a moment ago. He glanced over at Anna once more, but even that didn’t encourage him. She just reminded him of the one thing he’d never get back, had squandered: his youth.

Murdoc swung roughly into the parking lot, jolting Anna out of her relaxed state. “We’re here,” he announced, not bothering to park his car correctly. “Hurry up, we gotta make a run for it.” Before Anna could react, he’d shut the car off and hopped out, slamming the door shut behind him, and suddenly she was on her feet and running, helplessly blind in the rain, with only Murdoc’s hand to guide her in the right direction. She didn’t even have a chance to use the jacket as a cover before Murdoc pulled her through the front door, the pair drenched once more in rain.

“Wait here, I’ll get you a room,” Murdoc said as Anna tried to collect herself, wringing the water out of her hair. She watched him as he approached the front desk, walking like his spine was made of steel, fists clenched by his side. His posture practically spelled out “upset,” possibly “angry.” What was his problem now?

Suddenly, Anna was swamped with guilt. Of course; he was having second thoughts about helping her out tonight, of going out of his way for her. But he felt obligated to see his promise out to the end.

Well, he may have been an ass at points, and certainly he was only helping her because he was hoping to get repaid for it in some manner. But he’d also been kind to her, insisting Anna let him find her a room for the night, chasing after her in the rain and apologizing. Paying to keep her out of jail. Trying to get her to open up, but backing off when she just couldn’t bring herself to talk about what was wrong. Not just walking away when he thought she’d be a danger to herself, when he would have been completely blameless.

“Murdoc, wait.” Anna walked quickly after him, filled with remorse. He pretended not to hear her; she could tell because he quickened his pace, ducking his head down slightly. She managed to catch up to him, grabbing his wrist. Still, he didn’t look at her. “Murdoc, I’m fine from here, really. You don’t need to get me a room. I can make my way home from here.” It was going to be a hell of a walk in the rain, but they weren’t too far from the shelter she’d called home for weeks now.

Finally, the man turned to look down at her, his voice disinterested but eyes reproachful. “It’s still pouring, you ninny; you’ll catch a cold, or slip and crack your head open.” Murdoc pulled out of Anna’s grip, rolling his eyes as she continued to protest. “Look, Anna, I said I’d get you a room, and I will. But like I told you before, you don’t have to see me again after you’ve gotten settled. If you decide to leave after I’ve gone to bed, that’s on you.”

Anna studied him for a moment, looking for something that would explain his insistence. She just couldn’t believe a man like Murdoc would want to help her out, no questions asked. When she said nothing, Murdoc turned to make his way towards the front desk again.

“Why are you still trying to help me?”

Murdoc froze, but did not turn to face her again. After a brief pause, he found he had no good answer for her.

“Don’t know.”

Anna watched him as he began to chat up the exhausted employee, confused. Perplexed why he hadn’t given up and just left her to brave the journey home in the rain. She’d been clear that she wasn’t going to put out for him, but still he insisted on making good on his word. Even gave her an out if she insisted on leaving. If he wasn’t just looking for sex, then why bother going to all this trouble?

She looked down at the jacket in her hands, and without knowing why, she slipped it on. It was nice quality; felt expensive. And there was something about the smell that soothed her. It was long on her, and her fingers barely peeked out through the armholes. Wearing it gave her a warm feeling that she couldn’t quite place. She ran her hand tentatively across a sleeve, admiring the quality.

“Room’s ready. Come on, I’ll help you get settled.” Suddenly Murdoc was standing over her again, twirling a key around his finger. He raised an eyebrow, seeing Anna wearing his jacket, which practically swallowed her. Something about the sight was oddly endearing. Made her look even smaller, more vulnerable. Silently, he led her towards the elevator, at a loss for what to say now. He’d gotten her a room like he said he would, and had let her off the hook in terms of any sexual exploits he might have suggested to her. So what was left but to bid her goodnight and be done with her?

Somehow Murdoc expected to feel angrier that he’d helped someone and wasn’t going to get any sort of compensation for it, but mostly he was just exhausted. And confused, underneath that. He couldn’t recall the last time he’d gone this far out of his way for anyone, so why her, especially now that any canoodling was well off the table? He studied her, wondering if maybe the answer would pop out at him if he looked at her long enough.

The elevator seemed far too small for what seemed like a more upscale hotel; the two were practically pressed together as it made its way up several floors. Anna looked over at the mirrored wall, catching Murdoc staring at her. Hastily, he looked away, scowling to cover up his embarrassment at getting caught.

“Thank you.”

Murdoc looked down at her again, confused. “Huh? For what?”

Shyly, Anna brushed her hand lightly against Murdoc’s, blushing. She hadn’t quite meant to do that, didn’t know why she did. “For being so good to me tonight.”

Her blush deepened when Murdoc didn’t move away, their fingers ghosting against each other. She kept her eyes glued to the floor, acutely aware of how rough and warm his skin felt against hers. They weren’t holding hands, but the light, barely-there contact was enough to make her heart race a bit more. Probably it was just the alcohol talking; it was starting to catch up to her.

“Yeah, well. Had nothing better to do, you know?” Murdoc punctuated the remark by pulling his hand away, folding his arms across his chest. Immediately, Anna felt cold and empty as he took a step away from her. Like she’d done something wrong, had offended him somehow. She felt the overwhelming need to pull Murdoc back to her, demand answers from him, ask him how he managed to fuck with her emotions like that by doing hardly anything at all.

She wanted someone to listen to her, and understand why she didn’t trust anyone’s kindness anymore. But before Anna could work through this latest change in emotion, the elevator doors creaked open, and Murdoc quickly sauntered down the hall. Clumsily, Anna followed after him, nearly tripping in her haste, still caught up in her haze of personal misery.

Finally, Murdoc stopped before a door, handing Anna the key. “Well, love, here we are. Room 742. Never let anyone tell you that Murdoc Niccals is anything less than a gentleman.” When Anna didn’t reply, her throat blocked with all the words she wanted to say to him, he scoffed. “Right. I’m off, then. It was nice to meet you, I suppose. Whatever it is you’re supposed to say. Take care.”

Murdoc turned away, filled with a sudden loathing that had been missing before. The bitch couldn’t even be arsed to bid him farewell, hadn’t even really thanked her properly for the room. This was absolutely the last time he ever went out of his way for anyone besides himself. That had worked out just fine for the past few decades. Of all the ungrateful, entitled slags he’d ever met-

“Wait.”

Sighing, the man turned around, ready to be done with this girl. “What?”

Anna stared at him for a moment, her gaze pale and stupid, before she quickly slipped the jacket from her shoulders. She held it out to him, her gaze averted. And still she said nothing.

“Oh, right. That. I’ll be taking that back now, thank you,” Murdoc said, his voice curt. He snatched it roughly from her hands, smirking when she flinched. “Goodnight, then.”

She watched him make his way back towards the elevator, trying to find her voice again. It was definitely the alcohol, which had both opened up the dam inside of her, and left her unable to put her thoughts into words. He was almost gone, and suddenly she desperately wished for the man from the bar, who’d been so kind and tried to coax her story out of her. And all she was left with was this man who had no use for her anymore, and was walking out of her life for good, no longer interested in helping her-

_No. Please. Not again._

“I want to tell you what happened to me.”

Murdoc was halfway down the hall when Anna finally found her voice. Like before, Murdoc didn’t turn around, but he did stop in his tracks. He was tempted to tell her he didn’t care and to continue on his way, but what was the harm in hearing the girl out? His curiosity from before, at least, would be satisfied. He heard the telltale sound of a door being unlocked.

“Please. I need to tell someone or I’ll go crazy.”

Finally, he turned around. “I’m all ears.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been sitting on this chapter for a few days. Thought I may as well post it now. Still taking a mini break, but I haven't stopped writing! Just not as much as before. Thanks for reading!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am 85% sure I will come back to this and make it suck less. Sorry, it's been a while, guys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trapped in this phase  
> Caught up in this masquerade

He didn’t give a shit what that bitch did. Not a one. Let her go whore around.

Who the fuck did she think she was, anyway, strolling out in front of him like that? She must have known that he was standing there to see it. And with 2D, no less! That knobhead. Arsehole. Fuckface. Oh, he was gonna get it once they came back. And if Anna thought she was getting off easy, she was sorely mistaken. He was gonna nip this one in the bud, right from the get go. If she thought for one second that she was going to make a fool out of him…

“Stupid slag,” Murdoc muttered furiously, pacing back and forth. And she was. Who knew what she got up to when he wasn’t around? Strutting around, making a spectacle of herself, pulling every red-blooded man she could find into bed with her. One after the other, never satisfied, always on the prowl. Murdoc yelled wordlessly in frustration, wishing his room wasn’t already trashed so he could wreck the place. He was so _sure_ he’d had Anna tied around his finger; all that time he’d put in with her, stomaching mind-numbingly boring dates, listening to her endless tales of woe, taking care of whatever stupid little thing she asked of him…

And she’d just gone off with 2D. Right in front of him.

Suddenly the clutter of Murdoc’s room was stifling. He left, slamming the door shut behind him, thinking how he’d rather slam 2D’s face into a wall just as hard. The tosser was well overdue for a hard reminder of his place in the world.

Booze. That was what he needed. And lots of it. He knew there’d be plenty in the kitchen.

Murdoc stormed in, teeth bared menacingly. He made a beeline for the fridge, grabbing the first can he saw and downing it right inside the door. He tossed the empty can over his shoulder, another one in his hand before the first one even touched the floor.

“Hey! What the hell, Murdoc?!” Russel rubbed the spot on his head where the can had connected with it. Murdoc hadn’t even realized he was sitting there, and evidently didn’t hear his drummer complain as he tossed his second empty can in a similar fashion. “Don’t ignore me, asshole, I’m talking to you!”

Finally, Murdoc raised his head, his arms full of all the cans he could carry. “Piss off, Russel. I’m not in the mood.” He kicked the fridge door closed and tried to walk back to his room, but Russel stood up, blocking his way.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Russel fixed Murdoc with a cutting glare, leaning over the man menacingly. “I said I was talking to you.”

“And _I_ told _you_ ,” Murdoc retorted, “to piss off. Now get out of the way.” To Russel’s surprise, Murdoc shoved past the man with incredible force, nearly knocking him over. “And if that good for nothing bitch comes back looking for me, tell her she can go to hell and rot.”

Russel turned, jaw slightly agape, as Murdoc stomped his way out. “Who, that girl you brought over?”

“No, the Queen of England.” Standing in the doorway, Murdoc faced Russel once more, his voice barely below a scream. “Yes, that girl I fucking brought over! And tell that worthless, toothless shithead she’s with that he better watch his head before I smash it through another windshield.”

Trying to work through Murdoc’s rage, Russel asked, “Who, 2D?”

“YES BLOODY 2D, YOU STUPID FUCKING NUMBSKULL-” Murdoc cut himself off with a sharp intake of breath, closing his eyes as Russel took an instinctive step back. He was too shocked by the sudden outburst to even respond to it, where usually he would have gladly got in the man’s face and let him have it. Slowly, Murdoc met Russel’s eye again, having apparently gotten ahold of himself. “Just forget it. I’ll be in my room.”

He thought he might have heard Russel call after him, but he ignored it, and the drummer didn’t bother to follow him. Good; the last thing he needed was someone poking about, trying to find some meaning in his rage. Even now, he could feel the alcohol he’d already consumed start to work its way through his bloodstream, putting out his fire just enough so that he didn’t want to tear the walls apart; he just wanted more booze.

Whore. Dickhead. Bitch. Cretin. Slut. Arsehole.

Murdoc found himself sprawled uselessly on his unkempt bed, the cans polished off and lost to the pigsty that was his room. The slight nausea that hit him reminded him that it’d been a while since he’d had a proper binge like this, but the wonderfully mindless haze that had settled over him was like an old, if somewhat suffocating, friend. In his drunken state, he tried to recall the last time he’d gotten good and wasted like this. Maybe a year, give or take.

He’d always been the angriest of angry drunks, destroying everything in his wake with one hand and drinking straight from the bottle with the other. If 2D managed to run quickly enough, he escaped the worst of it, but he never got away without at least on good punch to the head and some ugly bruises.

2D. What a sniveling little maggot, cowering at everything, doping up every time his stupid head started to hurt. Boo fucking hoo. And yet he was always the star of the show, always the one people fawned over, full of praise and admiration and an eagerness to win his favor.

From the moment the stupid little boy had come out of his coma, Murdoc knew that that pretty, dead-eyed, brainless face would serve him well. With 2D as the face and voice of Gorillaz, they’d gotten much farther than Murdoc ever had with his old slew of worthless bands.

But of course, Murdoc never let on that 2D was the reason Gorillaz finally succeeded where Murdoc had had nothing but failures behind him on his own. It wasn’t hard to convince that idiot that he would be nothing without Murdoc, and that without the bassist in his life, he’d just be some loser with no eyes and a pill problem. And by the time 2D’s doped up, feeble little mind could comprehend that Murdoc was not a role model, a great leader, or even his friend, it was too late to do anything but get on with it.

And here they were; twenty years of success and mishaps and the occasional mentally scarring trauma. Not much had changed, really; 2D was the ever-hopeful idiot, too stupid to tie his shoes without help. Murdoc was the brains and driving force behind everything they did, good and bad alike. Russel was the voice of reason in their chaotic existence, who kept them from maiming themselves into oblivion. And Noodle was the strength and courage that kept them all moving forward.

No, nothing much had changed in the past twenty years. Until he’d met her.

~

 

How the fuck had Murdoc gone for so long without getting properly wasted?

He’d started a new pile of empty cans, which he contributed to by chucking them from his bed. He didn’t bother to see if they actually landed in a pile. Truthfully, he hadn’t moved from this spot in hours. Had it been hours? Murdoc wasn’t sure anymore.

All he was sure of was that he was happier this way. Numb, slightly woozy, a stupid grin the faded in and out with every drink. Alone.

It’s not like he saw her much anyway. If they weren’t shagging, she pretty much just kept to herself. Unless she wanted to talk, in which case he was forced to listen. But mostly it was the same babble from the last thousand conversations. No matter how many times she revisited the same old stories, told the same way every time, it’s like she couldn’t believe a word.

The only reason he let her go on is because he’d known what it felt like, to hurt like she had.

Whenever they’d met up before, Murdoc found himself smiling. Enjoying her company, especially when they inevitably ended up sweaty and disheveled, in a hotel or in the backseat of his car. Already looking forward to seeing her again.

Maybe that was Murdoc’s mistake, letting her think she mattered.

No, no, he had to be honest; they’d had fun together. She’d made him laugh, and he’d returned the favor. She’d made him feel like a god, which was almost better than the sex. He’d felt like a savior, a lifeline, someone to be depended on. Slowly, they’d shared themselves with each other; the parts no one else wanted to hear, the parts that were ugly and unglamorous and shameful.

Together, they’d tried to make each other better, in a thousand little ways.

He hadn’t been faithful, obviously. That wasn’t what this was, and she should have known that. But even when they’d been having their row, yelling terrible things at each other, somehow he hadn’t thrown it out there. It would have been the perfect thing to shut her up, and let her know where she stood in Murdoc’s life. But some idiotic part of his brain kept him from bragging about how many women he’d been shagging when she thought she’d been something special.

She wasn’t. No way in hell.

Murdoc threw his half-empty can away, not caring enough whether it would make a mess. He wasn’t in the mood anymore.

~

Sometime around midnight, a knock came at his door. A soft, hesitant voice said something he couldn’t quite make out. It might have been his name. An apology, maybe. A plea. Murdoc sat halfway up, holding himself up on his elbows. He opened his mouth to call out, told himself to get up and open the door.

Instead, he dropped back onto his bed, turning away so that his back faced the door. It was a surprisingly long time before he heard her walk away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am fucking garbage, I'm sorry. This is such a nothing chapter. But I swear, it's vital. Sort of. It might not become apparent right away. This story is constantly growing. It sucks SO MUCH knowing what I want to happen, but not having the power (or patience) to put it into words. Writer's block == the death of me. 
> 
> Also this was originally going to be longer, but I cut out a huge chunk at the last minute before posting. It's not super relevant right now. It will probably get reused later on. So sorry that this is much shorter than usual, especially for such a long hiatus. 
> 
> Anyway, the 2nd person/reader POV oneshots are definitely still happening. Honestly, this chapter was the hardest one to write and I'm not really sure why. It definitely isn't worth a month's wait, but here it is anyway! Hopefully I can get back into the swing of things soon. Thanks for reading!


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